[00:00] You have to face your fears. Guess what? We all have them. Yeah, but Jim, I have this fear. Yeah, I know. I get it. We’ve got it too. Everybody else has it too. You and all the other listeners, we’ve got fears. You have to face them. I know it sucks, but guess what else sucks. Not growing. Welcome to another episode of success through failure.

[00:23] This is your host, Jim Harshaw, Jr. And today we’re bringing you another solo episode. If you’re listening to this on the day, it launches happy. 4th of July. If you’re listening to this on any other day, happy today, whatever day it is, this is part two of a four part series. And this four part series is on mastery.

[00:44] And this is all based off of the retreat called moving to mastery that I hosted back in may. We had a bunch of amazing attendees. There was so much learning that took place. And so for me personally, there was learning that took place in advance. My preparation for this, there was learning a lot of learning that took place during the retreat itself.

[01:04] There was a lot of discussion, a lot of masterminding, a lot of workshopping and writing on the big 3m post-it notes on the wall and just amazing there it. Comes from, you know, decades of learning in reading, it comes from hundreds of interviews that I’ve done with, you know, Navy seals and New York times bestselling authors and CEOs and world class performers on this podcast.

[01:27] And it comes from my own experience as an all American athlete, as an Olympic hopeful, as an NCAA Division I head coach as an entrepreneur and all of my life experiences poured into. This episode, this conversation that I’m about to have with you right now, before we get into self mastery, which is what we’re talking about today.

[01:49] On the last episode, we talked about relationship mastery. That was episode 357. I wanna share with you a review we’re over 200 reviews for the podcast now. Here’s one from Dan Mocci. He said, Jim Harshaw’s podcast is different than most in this space. Topics are relevant. And in each episode, Jim provides actionable success, tips and strategies that can be implemented right away.

[02:10] Thank you, Dan. If you wanna hear your name on the podcast, go to apple podcast or whatever platform you’re listening to this on and leave me a review. I will be reading those regularly on the podcast and share this with a friend. If there’s somebody that you think would like the podcast, please give it a share.

[02:25] This is how this thing grows. This is how it reaches more people. There are so many podcasts out there these days. There’s just a flood and avalanche of podcasts and, and it’s hard to find the good ones and the right ones to listen to. You know, somebody who needs this, you know, somebody who loves this stuff, tell them to check out episode 359 of the Success Through Failure podcast or give it a retweet or give it a share on Instagram or even a comment or a like, or anything like that.

[02:51] Whenever you engage with these posts on social media. Those social media platforms like to show it to more and more people. So thank you for that. Thank you for your support. Thank you for listening. Let’s get into self mastery. Okay. Why are we talking about self mastery? Right. This falls under a larger umbrella of moving to mastery, which like I said, that was the theme of the retreat.

[03:10] Now in the coaching program, my framework called reveal your path. There are four areas where we set goals and those four areas are this number one relationships. Number two self number three health and number four wealth. And that’s like wealth slash work, right? Professional goals, financial goals, career cetera.

[03:29] All right. The one that really needs some explanation is the self goal category. And that’s what we’re talking about today. Self goals, self mastery. Now there are three subcategories under self, right? And those are the, here are the. Growth impact and fun. Okay. Growth, impact, fun. G. I. F. To help you remember it.

[03:48] G. I. F.: growth, impact, fun. I’m gonna go through each of these three sub areas of mastery and give you the concepts that you most need to master to understand in order to achieve. Mastery in this area, right? I’m gonna give you three under each of these sort of subcategories of growth, impact, and fun.

[04:07] I’m gonna give you three of the biggest, just the biggest, best sort of most impactful takeaways from the retreat. And from my learning that I talked about earlier and give those to you today, they’re gonna be some more in the action plan. So if you wanna grab the action plan, you’ll, you’ll get some additional stuff there as well, but there’s, these are the, the biggest takeaways that I think are really going to give you the most bang for your buck.

[04:27] All right. So let’s start. Growth again. We’re gonna go through the three of these all under the category of self-mastery, we’ll start with growth and then impact and then fun. Okay. What are the top three concepts that you need to understand in order to achieve self-mastery in the area of growth? Okay.

[04:44] Number one is this personally, I used to watch a lot of film when I was wrestling. I breakdown film of myself. I break down film of my opponents and primarily when I was breaking down film of myself. It made me aware of certain things. Right? For example, one thing, one problem that I used to have a lot is in the sport of wrestling, you typically have one leg in front of the other when you’re in your wrestling stance.

[05:05] And I was a right leg lead. And sometimes I would reach with my right arm, which is a bad idea because if you’re a right leg lead and you’re Reacher with your right arm, you’re leaving that leg unprotected. And the guy can attack. At that point. I’m not gonna get into details for the non wrestling oriented out there, but it made me aware of this weaknesses, this mistake that I was making.

[05:23] I could correct it because I was aware of it nows nowadays. What do I do? I, I have a coach who I work with. I’m in a mastermind group. I listen to these podcasts, right. I send out surveys to my clients. These types of things help me be and, and become aware. Of what I’m doing, what am I doing well, what am I not doing?

[05:44] Well, where can I improve? And that’s the first thing you have to understand. If you want to master growth, you have to figure out ways to become self aware. Right? So number one is self-awareness self-awareness what are you doing to be aware? Of how you’re operating in the world, right? Your strengths, your weaknesses.

[06:03] Are you taking assessments? Do you have a coach? Are you in a mastermind group? Are you watching film, whatever that looks like in your world? Are you going back and watching film? Are you listening to yourself on the podcast like I do in evaluating, right. So number one is self-awareness number two is this I’ve always wanted to run a marathon, but I’ve had a limiting belief for years and years.

[06:23] I had a limiting belief that I’m not a runner. I’m not good at running. I hate running all that. So eventually I just signed up for a marathon and started training, got a training partner. We did a lot of the training together. The training sucked, we trained through the winter. There were, there was single digits.

[06:37] A lot of days when we ran early in the morning in the dark, it was cold. Fingers would get cold. Even if you had really good gloves on your nose would get cold. Your lips would get numb. Waking up early, really early, extra early to get in these long runs. Especially later in the training, I had knee pain. I had to deal with some knee pain issues, let alone just the running.

[06:57] I mean, running’s hard, right when you’re running that kind of distance, it was hard. But when I did that, when I built in that discomfort, it taught me to grow. If you wanna achieve. Mastery in the area of growth, you have to architect discomfort into your life right now. Like I, I ran six miles this morning just because that’s what I do now.

[07:16] Like I’m a runner, there’s a new standard. If you wanna grow, you have to architect discomfort. Into your life. All right, so that’s the second one under self-mastery growth. Self-awareness is number one. Discomfort is number two. You won’t grow within your comfort zone. We know that we hear that, but what are you actively doing?

[07:36] Well, how are you finding ways to get outside of your comfort zone? That’s number two, there’s number three. Like, like a lot of people, I have a fear of public speaking, or I should say maybe I, I had a fear. I still kind of have it, but I’m a professional speaker now. Right. But I faced this fear head on. I knew that I had the fear.

[07:54] I signed up for Toastmasters. I started speaking, started doing practice talks in front of a safe audience. Then I started giving more talks and free talks to the local rotary club or different organizations. And then I started getting paid for it. Now I’m well paid to stand in front of audiences and talk, people fly me around the country to do this, but it started by facing my fears head on.

[08:18] And that’s number three, self mastery. If you wanna master growth, you have to face your fears. You have to figure out what those are, right. Become aware of them. And then you have to face. Face them head on deal with them. Find ways to interact with those fears. It’s hard. Yeah. It’s scary. I know I get it.

[08:35] But you wanna grow? Do you wanna master yourself? You wanna achieve self-mastery you have to face your fears. Guess what? We all have them. Yeah, but Jim, I have this fear. Yeah, I know. I get it. We’ve got it too. Everybody else has it too. You and all the other listeners we’ve got fears. You have to face them.

[08:51] I know it sucks, but guess what else? Not growing, not mastering yourself. You’ve got to face your fears. Okay. So under the category of growth, we talked about self-awareness discomfort and facing your fears, right? Those are the three let’s move on to the second category. Uh, but first, like I said, I’m gonna include, there are some other additional ones that are included in the action plan.

[09:13] Those are just the big three that I wanted to give you. All right. Let’s move on to impact again, growth impact fund. We talked about growth. We’re moving to impact. I have a goal to have 100 coaches. Teaching reveal your path. Currently, I have four about a year ago, uh, a year and a half ago I had zero.

[09:30] Right? So I’m growing in that area. Why do I wanna have a hundred coaches? I wanna make an impact, but a hundred. That’s a big number to have a hundred coaches. Teaching this program, it’s a, B a, it’s a big, hairy, audacious goal. If you wanna learn more about how to set your B a go to episode 3 0 2 and 3 48 in those two episodes, uh, I go into different ways about how to identify your B a, how to set that B a and pursue that B a.

[09:57] So episodes 3, 0, 2. 3 48. But when you look at people who are really truly making an impact in the world, they have a, B a, it doesn’t mean they have a huge social media following, right. They might have a, B a to be the, the best teacher in their school district. Right. Whatever that might be, whatever that B a is for you doesn’t mean you have to be rich and famous, but what’s that B a for you that big, hairy, audacious goal that will drive you to make an impact.

[10:26] Right? So that’s number one, you’ve gotta have a, B. Number two. Uh, I used to feel personally, like when I was wrestling that I was driving, like with the parking break on, that was kind of the experience, you know, it’s like I knew I was holding myself back. I had this fear of failure and that fear of failure came from like, I didn’t wanna look stupid and, and it was letting my ego.

[10:46] Get in the way when I finally let go of that, when I finally let go of fear and, and what, um, Jayden Cox said in the episode, when I interviewed him, he’s a world champion wrestler. He said back in episode 176. And no, by the way, I don’t have these memorized. I pull them up on a list in front of me was as I’m talking, I have some of the memorized.

[11:07] People are always like you have all your episodes memorized. No I don’t. But Jayden Cox said that when he finally realized that failure actually was. An option. He was able to put that fear of failure down and just compete at his highest level. When he finally let go, that’s when he became a world champion and it was the same for me to become an all American.

[11:26] I finally let go of my ego, my fear of failure and understood like, Hey, failure can happen, but all I can do is all I can do. That’s when success came and it’s the same with impact. Put your ego aside, pursue supporting and helping others, the passionate pursuit of helping others. Is absolutely a critical piece of making an impact, but this is about putting your ego aside, right?

[11:51] Under impact. If you wanna master impact, you’ve gotta have a, B a G, and you’ve gotta set your ego aside and sort of the, the subpoint under there was having a passionate pursuit of helping others. That was another thing that came out of the retreat that I think kind of goes along with this. It’s not about you put you aside and pursue loving and supporting and helping others.

[12:12] I’m a C. Uh, and whether you’re a Christian or not, you can probably agree to the fact that this man named Jesus Christ thousands of years ago has had a huge impact on the world, whether you like it or not. Again, you know, I’m a Christian, that’s who I am. And I, I, I love that. And I, I look at Jesus as this, this great mentoring guide and, you know, regardless of your, of your faith, you can see that this guy’s had a huge.

[12:34] He had a passionate pursuit of helping others. He put his own ego aside. It wasn’t about him. Quick interruption. If you like what you’re hearing here, and you want to learn how you can implement this into your life. Just go to JimHarshawJr.com/APPLY to see how you can get a free one on one coaching session with me.

[12:53] That’s JimHarshawJr.com/APPLY. Now back to the show. All right, that’s the second one. And then the third one under impact is. My wife is a licensed therapist. I remember she told me this story about whenever she was, um, she had first got, she had gotten her degree and, and in order to become licensed, you have to do like a ton of hours.

[13:14] I forget how many hours, like thousands of hours of, of supervised work, right? You have to be supervised by someone who’s already licensed in order for you to become licensed yourself. And so she was working. Children like students. And a lot of them were underprivileged and, and kids who were really at risk and just struggling.

[13:32] And these kids would come back in week after week after week with the same challenges, the same problems. And she just kind of got defeated and felt like I’m not making an impact. Like I’m not helping these kids. And she told that to her supervisor and her supervisor told her this, and I’ve always remembered this because she told me this and it just has really stuck with me.

[13:50] He said to her you’re planting seeds. Trust this process, you don’t have to see the results and you may not see the results now or next week at the session, or maybe not even next month, or maybe not even next year. Maybe not even five years from now, but that seed has been planted. The results are gonna come down the road.

[14:10] And so that is a critical piece of making an impact of mastering impact. You have to have patience and you have to plant. Seeds. Right? So that’s the third one under the category of impact? The first one was you gotta have a B a, the second one is you gotta set your ego aside and have a passionate pursuit of helping others.

[14:30] And the third one is plant seeds. Trust the process. Be patient. That is how you master impact. All I told you, I was gonna give you there’s three categories here, right? Growth and impact and fun. We’ve talked about growth. We’ve talked about impact. And again, I’m gonna have a few more under impact in the action plan.

[14:48] Go to Jim harsher jr.com/action for that. And if you’re already on my email list, you’ll get that Monday email. With this information in it. If you subscribe to my email list, make sure you bookmark that link, that I email you right away. And, uh, you just bookmark that and you can get every action plan every week as they come out.

[15:04] All right. Third category fun. Why is this important? Well, fun is about self mastery. Like we have to have fun. We have to have fun in this life. In this world. We have to. Figure out ways to have fun. If it’s not fun, like what’s, what’s the point right there. There’s maybe some other points, right? You serving others, loving others, helping, but like, we gotta have fun along the way, too.

[15:24] Right. So we have to have this as the area you want to master. Right. So I’m gonna give you three takeaways here. Number one. Why don’t you interview Joe? Desen. CEO and founder of Spartan races back in episode 27. And then again, in episode 340 back in episode 27, the first time we talked, he talked about architecting discomfort into your day, right?

[15:44] He heard me talk earlier about discomfort. He talked about architecting discomfort into your day. He said, if you do that, you can be happy. Just eating a cracker in the rain. I love that quote, right? If you architect a little bit of discomfort into your day, you can be happy. Just eating a cracker in the, that quote just really resonates with me because you.

[16:00] We can keep upping the ante. Right. I’m happy now, but gosh, but when I get that new car, then I’m gonna be really happy. Yeah. I’m happy now. But I, once I get that new job, then I’ll be really happy or that new house or whatever it might be. But if you plant adversity into your life, Challenges hard things.

[16:20] You will find yourself being happier. I did a three day, two night backpacking trip in Montana. Last summer, it was brutally hot. The flies were atrocious, like the worst summer for flies. It was a heat wave out there. So the flies were just so bad, like historically bad bees and flies honest the entire three days.

[16:38] And man, I can’t tell you how happy I was to sit down in a dusty minivan with a bottle of water. Relaxing with the backpack off my back and just happy. Went to a restaurant and got burgers and a beer afterwards. And it was like the happiest I’ve ever been. Right. Because of the adversity. Right. So that’s number one under fun plan adversity.

[17:00] That way it allows you to have fun. Okay. You can be happy. Just eating a cracker in the rain. Number two. I have a client who he was very successful, retired at the age of 55 and he thought to himself, like, I, I, there’s more in me. I still have this other business that I wanna start. And we were working together for a while and he couldn’t figure out what was blocking him.

[17:21] From getting going on this next business venture. And he realized that if he goes in on this, he’s gonna go all in again. And he’s not going to have fun. He’s just gonna be all in work crazy hours, because that’s just who he is and how he operates. You may be the same way. I know I have a lot of listeners and a lot of clients who are the same way.

[17:42] Like we’re the kind of people who just go all in on something and we, we will just work. And so what he discovered, what we discovered together was he needs. Create a plan for having fun. We actually built in several vacations and trips and adventures so that he could have fun. And once we did that, he was like, yeah, now I can go on in, on this business because I know these fun things are planned.

[18:04] Like there’s a week off for this. There’s two weeks off for that. I’m gonna travel overseas for this. Like this fun was already built in and he was committed to those things. Now he could go in. Now he could commit to that business. Because he had planned fun. All right. So that’s number two is planning your fun.

[18:21] Number one is planning adversity. Number two is planning your fun, right? Making sure it happens. It can’t be just all adversity. you know, you’ve gotta plan the fun. You gotta make time for it. Put it on the calendar. All right. I told you I would give you three here’s the third one. When I was cutting weight for wrestling.

[18:38] Oh man, it was miserable. Right? You can’t do it these days cuz the, the rules have changed and all this, but he, you know, he used to put on a plastic suit and then a sweatshirt sweatpants hat and you would work out right. Run loops around the wrestling room until you just sweated, you know, five, 10 pounds out.

[18:55] Yes, those are ridiculous numbers. But, but those are real numbers. If you wrestled or, or MMA, uh, any sport, we have to cut ridiculous amounts of weight. Then, then you know, But it, it was miserable. And then one time I realized that I didn’t have to just run circles around the room and sit on the stationary.

[19:12] I can actually play Dodge ball, like, and so we started playing Dodge ball to cut weight and, and it was fun. Right. It still sucks because you had plastic suit on and all that was ridiculous. But, but man, it was fun. Like you could actually enjoy working out in cutting the weight. Right. So number three is about infusing fun into other goals in other pursuits.

[19:33] Like how can you infuse fun into the things that you have to do? The things that are already hard? How can you make those fun? Are there things that are fun about them or times when you’ve had fun doing those things in the past? You’re like, why don’t I do that more often? Or maybe there’s a totally different way of looking at.

[19:51] Like me in cutting weight that I hadn’t thought of before, that would actually make this fun. All right. That is how you achieve self-mastery in the category of fun. All right. So we talked about growth and impact and fun. I’m gonna go through these again real quick. Again, they’ll be in the action plan, but growth.

[20:08] To master growth. Number one, self-awareness number two, discomfort. Number three, base your fears impact. You gotta have a B ag. You gotta set your ego aside and have a passionate pursuit of helping others. And number three is you gotta patience. And plant those seeds and trust that process under fun. You gotta have planned adversity.

[20:29] You also have to have planned fun, and then you gotta infuse fun into the goals and pursuits that you’re pursuing right now. Right. I’ve got some more bullet points to add into the action plan for you. So make sure you get your copy at JimHarshawJr.com/ACTION. I gave you so much stuff here.

[20:45] Nine things I just gave you. Pick two. You don’t have to pick all of them. Don’t try to go do all of ’em. Just, just pick two and take action. Don’t let this just be another episode that you listen to, and then you go off into the world and you check email, check your phone and go back into getting bogged down by the minutia of life.

[21:02] Pick two of these and move forward. Take action. Thanks for listening. If you want to apply these principles into your. Let’s talk. You can see the limited spaces that are open on my calendar at JimHarshawJr.com/APPLY where you can sign up for a free one time coaching call directly with me. And don’t forget to grab your action plan.

[21:24] Just go to JimHarshawJr.com/ACTION. And lastly, iTunes tends to suggest podcast with more ratings and reviews more. You would totally make my day. If you give me a rating and review those go a long way in helping me grow the podcast audience, just open up your podcast app. If you have an iPhone, do a search for success through failure, select it, and then scroll the whole way to the bottom where you can leave the podcast a rating and a review.

[21:52] Now, I hope this isn’t just another podcast episode for you. I hope you take action on what you learned here today. Good luck and thanks for listening.

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