[00:00] This is how we as humans work, you put yourself around other people who are doing what you are doing, doing what you wanted to do, have the same goals as you. It’s almost easy. Listen, is it easy? No, of course it’s not easy, but it becomes easier. It becomes simple. Welcome to another episode of success through failure.

[00:21] This is your host, Jim Harshaw, Jr. and today I’m bringing you a solo episode. We’re talking about a cheat code, a cheat code that will help you create success at anything. It’s almost easy when you do this. And I know I can feel you rolling your eyes right now at this. But it’s true. Once I explain this to you and give you some framework for this, you’re gonna understand what I’m talking about, and you’re gonna be able to use this in your life to create success.

[00:45] And it almost makes it easy. I promise you check this out. So it’s going to help you with two things. Number one. It’s gonna help you be more willing to do the things that you fear, the things that you procrastinate around, because there’s a fear of failure, or maybe even that sort of self-sabotaging fear of success.

[01:04] That kinda lies deep underneath so many people. But there’s that fear, that hesitation to do something, right? So that’s number one. And number two, it will help you be resilient in the face of failure. You’re gonna fail and you’re gonna have setbacks and struggles, just like we know on this episode from listening to all these amazing people that that’s just part of success.

[01:24] But for most of us, most people, it would just hold us back, slow us down, make us less willing to get up and take action again. But when you do this, when you use this cheat code, it’s gonna help you be more resilient in the face of failure. And I call it a cheat code because it’s kind of like, I don’t know how old you are listening, but I’m 46 years old.

[01:44] And so growing up, playing Nintendo, there was a game called Contra. If you ever played that when you were a kid like me, there was a cheat code. You could press up down, up, down right left, right left, BA start. And that will give. 30 lives in Contra and it was a blast. It was a Chico and you could just have 30 lives and not be limited.

[02:03] It was like so much fun playing like that. Well, that’s what this kind of is. So I’m gonna reveal this to you and give you some steps to implement this into your life. And as always, I’m gonna remind you that you can listen to success through failure on your smart speaker. Just say, “Hey, Siri” or “Hey, Alexa, play Success Through Failure podcast.”

[02:21] You can also use the hashtag. You can follow the hashtag #STFpod. If you wanna look at all the social media posts or the episodes that we posted over the weeks and months and years, and anytime you post about the podcast, just use that hashtag, #STFpod. And thank you for those who have shared the podcast.

[02:41] You’ve shared it on social media. You’ve shared it with friends, and if you’ve not done this yet, I hope you’ll consider it. It’s what really helps this audience grow so that I can continue. To bring on amazing guests like Tim Ferris, like Ken Blanchard, like Robert O’Neill, the Navy seal who killed Ben Laden, like Kenny Thomas, who was one of the army Rangers on the ground in the battle of Mogadishu, like Paralympic medalist, Bonnie St. John.

[03:07] She was the first-ever African American to ever win medal. In winter Olympic competition. She’s an amazing leadership expert, but I get to bring on all these great people because of the audience, because you’re there and the more we grow, this thing, the better guests I can continue to bring on for you.

[03:23] And by the way, if you haven’t left me a rating and review those go a long way in helping this thing grow as well. Here’s one from. Someone who goes by the name, Grick30. I don’t know who that is, but they said, “I listened to a lot of podcasts in this podcast is consistently the most empowering. Thank you, Jim Harshaw, for lifting us all up and for sharing your gift with the world.”

[03:46] Well, thank you, Grick30, whoever you are. If you wanna hear your review for the podcast. Read here. So just go ahead and lead me a rating and review on whatever podcast platform you’re listening to this on. All right. So let’s get into the meat of the episode here. I was talking with a Pathfinder recently and I noticed this significant change in him over the past few years, among other changes, he went from a guy who didn’t really work out all that much to increasing his workouts pretty significantly.

[04:15] And then he committed to doing a Murf and if you’re not familiar with a, what a Murf is, it’s a one-mile run followed by 100 pullups 200 pushups, 300 bodyweight squats, and then another mile run that’s the MERF workout. And a lot of people do it with a 20-pound weight. Best on as well. So that’s technically a me.

[04:34] So he committed to doing a MERF with a bunch of other folks in our Pathfinder community. Pathfinders are people who have done completed, or are part of the reveal path coaching program that I run with the several other coaches. And so he committed to doing the MERF with a bunch of others and he completed it.

[04:53] He finished the Murf, it’s a hard thing just to finish. Then a year later, he committed to doing the Murf again, this time because of work and things pulling at him. He actually trained less for it, but he did it faster. Did you get that? He trained less, but he did it faster because he’s using the cheat code.

[05:13] what’s happening here. What’s happening is his standards have changed his belief. His knowledge of what’s possible has changed. And when people come into the reveal path program, I often see their standards change as their lives change. They get clarity and they get excitement about this newly charted course forward and all these new possibilities for how to live an amazing life.

[05:38] And, you know, they’re more motivated at work. There’s an injection of productivity. They’re more focused, they’re more consistent. They’re more intentional about. Parenting, there may be a better spouse. They get more fit and more healthy and path is often associated with a weight loss and an increase in fitness.

[05:55] Even if that’s not really what they’re focused on, it just. Happens. And so in this episode, this is a framework for how you can use this same concept of raising your standards to transform your life and your performance in any area of your life, whether it’s your career or fitness or relationships or otherwise.

[06:13] Now, listen, this episode is not an antidote to failure. Don’t get this wrong. You will still. Just like Steve jobs and Oprah Winfrey and Elon Musk and Tim Ferris and, you know, JK row and Jaco willing, whoever it is that you follow or look up to. Failure’s part of the process. We know that by now, if you’ve been listening for any length of time, you know that by now, failure’s cool.

[06:35] Failure’s fine. Failure’s okay. We’re not seeking it, but it’s part of the path we get better because of failure. All right. So this is not an antidote to failure. The secret, like I said, Changing your standards. Now you may have heard this before. Maybe you’ve heard other people say this before, but not necessarily address.

[06:54] Like how do you actually do this? I’m gonna give you some examples and like how you actually do this in your life. One of them is the very last episode. If you listen to episode 368 with Tom Ryan, he talked about how he was a wrestler. At Syracuse university grew up in New York, went to Syracuse and had a good freshman season, but he decided he wanted to go to the place in the country at the time was the best place to become the best possible wrestler that you could be.

[07:26] And that was the University of Iowa. He wanted to go train with Dan Gable, under Dan Gable, legendary coach, one of the greatest coaches of all time. He’s up there with the John Wooden’s and the Paul bear Bryants of the world. Tom Ryan wanted to train with thunder Dan Gable. He makes the trip out there.

[07:41] You gotta hear it. He’s a fascinating individual fascinating story. And he takes this overnight trip. He drives literally overnight from New York to Iowa shows up and crashes on someone’s couch for a couple hours and then goes to his first practice. Absolutely gets destroyed in his very first practice.

[08:00] So defeating and humiliating, and he kind of goes into this whole story about it. That it’s a fascinating story. You gotta listen to episode 360 8, but what he did is he put himself into a new environment and that changed his standard. And he became a two-time Aall-American. He got third and then second in the country was NCAA finalist runner-up, and guess what?

[08:20] He still failed. He did not achieve his goal of becoming an NCAA champion. He was one win away from. He got second place in the country. He still failed, but he landed higher, higher than he ever would have because he changed his standard. He put himself around other people who have a higher standard, a higher level of training, a higher level of what is normal, what is expected.

[08:44] That’s what he achieved. Personally, for me, I’ve experienced this as well. I was sitting at practice at the practice was over one day. And I can remember sitting on the Aine bike, just kind of peddling real slowly, kind of cooling down after practice and Mike Krafchik, he’s Dr. Mike, Krak now one of the guys who I’ve always looked up to, he’s the guy who we all know who’s like everything he does, he’s just successful.

[09:06] He’s just good at it. You know? And I’ve always, really looked up to him and I, and I looked up to him at that time too, because he was the assistant coach and he was an All-American. And I was like, Mike, what do I gotta do to be like, And he told me, he’s like, well, Jim, you’re just showing up at practice every day.

[09:22] Everybody’s doing that. I’m like, yeah, but Mike, the practice is like, I can’t eat for like an hour after practice cuz I’m so exhausted. I got, I can’t even put food in my body rejects anything. It puts into it. If it’s not like slowly sipping Powerade at the dining hall, like I can’t put food in my body cuz my body’s like shutting down.

[09:40] The practices are so physically exhausting. I mean just draining like nothing I’ve ever been through in my life. I’m like, you want me to do more? We’re doing, you know, two, a days lifts in the morning, everything he’s like, yeah, yeah. That you have, of course you have to. I’m like, okay. And he gave me some ideas and just come in and get like an extra 20 or 30 minute conditioning workout, come in and just drill for a half an hour.

[10:02] Drill moves, come in and watch film, you know, watch film at night after practice and all these ideas. It’s like, oh, That’s the standard. I didn’t realize like to be you. I thought we just had to do what everybody’s doing here, but you’re just like extra talented. So you’re saying there’s actually a different standard that you held yourself to.

[10:21] I see. Now I get it quick interruption. If you like what you’re hearing here and you want to learn how you can implement this. Into your life. Just go to JimHarshawJr.com/APPLY to see how you can get a free one-on-one coaching session with me. That’s JimHarshawJr.com/APPLY. Now back to the show.

[10:42] John McGovern was another one. John McGovern, speaking of Iowa, University of Iowa. He was the Hawkeye club coach at University of Iowa. Came to Virginia as the assistant coach. Again. That high level, that high standard that Dan Gable held his wrestlers to in that whole program too, at Iowa, he brought that into our wrestling room, brought that to me directly.

[11:02] I leveled up. I was like, oh, like, oh, that’s what hard work is. Cuz practice would be over everybody who would leave. He’d be like, Jim, get back in here. You wanna be great. This is what you have to do. And he put me through all kinds of ridiculous other stuff. That’s what it took. That’s how I learned what it actually took.

[11:17] It wasn’t just showing up. It was doing all this other stuff. It was this whole new standard of effort that was required. Maybe you’re sitting there going well, Jim, this is actually demotivating me. This is the opposite of what I wanted to hear because I’m working really hard right now, Jim and I’m being pulled in a million different directions and life is already busy and you’re telling me to do more.

[11:40] There is no more, Jim, I don’t have any more to give, but here’s the deal. Use the cheat code, get around other people who are doing that thing in every moment. You don’t have to actually put more time in. Sometimes it’s just putting the same amount of time in just like Tom Ryan. He’s practicing, let’s say two hours in the Syracuse resting room and two hours in the Iowa resting room.

[12:03] Those two hours, they have different results. There’s a different standard happening within those two hours. You pull yourself around different people. And not only are you performing at a high level expecting at a higher level, but guess what? You’re actually gonna find a little bit more time here and there.

[12:20] You’re gonna stop doing one thing and start doing more of something else because your standard has changed. I swear to you. It’s almost easy. It just happens when you get around like-minded people and you make similar commitments as these people. That becomes the norm. And this morning it happened for me.

[12:44] I was going to run during my son’s cross country practice, which starts at six 30 in the morning. And I was gonna have to run by myself while he was out doing his cross country practice with his team. And I was like, man, that really sucks. It gets hard to run by myself and it’s hot. And it’s muggy this time here in Virginia.

[13:00] And my neighbor, my running partner, he’s like, Hey man, I, you wanna run early before the practice. I’m like, yeah, hell yeah, let’s do it because I need that standard set. He’s a great runner. So we started, we ran at 5, 10, 5, 10:00 AM. We were out there running and we got our six-mile run in and I needed that.

[13:18] I needed that standard and we ran faster than it would’ve otherwise. And that’s just how we work as human beings. And you might. Jim. You’re just being a slacker. You’re a slacker. You can’t get out there and do it on your own. Sure. You can call me a slacker, but here’s the thing. Then you call every Olympic gold medalist, sprinter, a slacker as well because no world record has ever been set on the track outside of competition, whether it’s live competition or Olympic competition, you have to have others on the track pushing you.

[13:49] Best runners in the world. Best sprinters in the world. You put ’em on the track alone by themselves. They’re not gonna sprint as fast period. That’s the way it works. When you’re on the track with a group of world-class sprinters, guess what? The standard changed? It’s this unconscious standard that drives the Olympic sprinter.

[14:07] Even harder, even faster. These are world-class people. This is how we as humans work, you put yourself around other people who are doing what you were doing, doing what you wanted to do, have the same goals as you. It’s almost easy. Listen, is it easy? No, of course it’s not easy, but it becomes easier. It becomes simple.

[14:26] It’s just the natural. It becomes the norm. You’re already working hard. Why not work hard with other people who are working? Here’s another example. This is something that just kind of happens to us humans. Like we assimilate to the people around us when I moved from. Pittsburgh to Virginia to go to college.

[14:47] I assimilated my accent. You know, when I went down there to Virginia, I was a yer from Pittsburgh and a, and I used to talk like that. Now I just talk normal like this. Like I had a Pittsburgh accent and now I don’t, I just assimilated. It wasn’t even something I thought about. I lost my accent. If you’ve ever heard of Pittsburgh accent, it sounds.

[15:08] Like I was just talking, but you man, you gotta hear my parents. You gotta have ’em on here sometime. Cuz they are Yass to the core. Oh my goodness. It’s hilarious to talk to them and to hear their thick Pittsburgh accent, but we assimilate, we just. Change. You know, when I learned about Jesus Christ, what a good person he was, whether you believe in Christ or not like he was a good dude, man.

[15:31] Like he showed everybody else how to live. He set the standard for love and for caring, like it’s an unreachable standard, but it’s still the standard for me. When I came to faith, my thoughts and my actions changed that was the, the standard. The standard was raised as a father, as a husband, as a human being in the world.

[15:52] Same thing. When I got to the university of Virginia as a fundraiser, I was looking through a list of donors and I saw like a $500 donation. I’m like, wow, this is a pretty good donation. And very shortly after that I realized, oh, this is actually a really small donation. , you know, like I’m donating way more than that to the university of Virginia now, like it’s just, the standard has changed.

[16:13] And when you get around other people who have the higher standard, your standards change too, like in the. I’ve never been in the military, but when you list in the Marines, you know, your standards for excellence in toughness change, you get around other people who are doing drugs. Guess what your standards change.

[16:29] They can, this works in the wrong direction, too negative. You hang around people doing harmful things. That’s the standard. So there are two primary factors I wanna wrap up with here. Number one, get around people who are doing the same thing. The standard for hard work from me was learned when I was a kid in the wrestling room and from my mom and dad, they’re still the hardest work in people.

[16:49] I know my standard for dealing with pain and suffering came from wrestling. Being around other people who are going through pain and suffering my standard for academic excellence and dedication came from being at the University of Virginia, looking at, you know, these amazing students who are going off and doing amazing things in the world.

[17:06] They study really hard. Like I had to raise my game for my studies, my academics, my standard for selflessness grew whenever I met my wife, Allie. And again, when I started having kids, like that’s what selflessness really. Is when you have kids and we have a wife, a spouse, or someone you have to live together, you have to merge your lives together.

[17:27] And it’s amazing. And you have to really become selfless. Then the second factor, the first factor is getting around other people. And the second factor is commitment. Like my standard four, for example, recruiting. When I was an assistant wrestling coach at Virginia, my standard changed whenever I sat down with the football coaching staff and said, Hey, man, how do you guys recruit?

[17:46] Oh, you’re sending them notes and handwritten notes and personalize this and letters and all this stuff constantly. Ah, I see. So it’s not just like a once-a-week phone call. It’s like all this other stuff. Like my standard. Changed my standard for a long run changed. When I did a marathon, my standard for business development in marketing for my business changed whenever I quit my job because I made the commitment I have to, this is what I’m doing.

[18:11] This is my job. Now, my standard changed when I gotta run the right people in different times of my life. And whenever I made big, hard commitments, when you do that, your standards. But guess what? It doesn’t change. The fact that you’re gonna fail. I talked to you in the beginning of this episode, about two things.

[18:28] Number one, when you raise your standards by getting around the right people, by making that card commitment, you were able to number one face that thing that you fear head-on instead of procrastinating or reading another book or watching another YouTube video or sleeping on it one more night, or checking your email one more time and getting busy when you raise your standard.

[18:48] It just happens. You take action. And number two, it allows you to move not only towards the failure, but to get up one more time. Every time it helps you be more resilient. When you get around the right people, when you make those tough commitments, when you raise your standards, you’re more resilient. Like I said, this is almost like cheating.

[19:08] It’s almost easy. Like if you put yourself in that environment and around the people who have this standard, it just happens. We assimilate to the. And that’s why my clients, the Pathfinders, why they get so much value out of our work and people who do a Murf and then do it a year later, faster, despite less training.

[19:26] It’s not just our coaching, but it’s the sheer presence of other amazing people in this community. So how can you raise your standards? Is there a group you can join? Are there people you can hang around with? Can you talk to people who have done what you want to do? Can you learn about people who are doing what you wanna do and what standards they had or have currently, and other ways to, to join us, you can go to JimHarshawJr.com/APPLY.

[19:50] But that’s not what this episode’s about. It’s not about pushing you to, to make a phone call with us. Figure out what it is in your life that you need. Like, are you changing your environment? Are you making a commitment? Are you getting around the right people? So identify one action item out of this.

[20:05] What’s one thing you can change. One thing you can commit to one group of people or one person you can get around more that will change your standard is. Go into the chamber of commerce events, signing up for Toastmasters to get better at public speaking. Is it signing up for something like F three, like the workout group that I’m part of, or, or part of a gym and, you know, joining group classes?

[20:29] Is it alcoholics anonymous? Is it a running club? Is it somebody who’s in business crushing it and doing what you wanna do in business? Is it joining a mastermind group? What’s one action item that you can take away from this episode, do it in the next 24 hours. And ping me on social media and let me know you’ve done it.

[20:48] If you want, you can take a screenshot of the episode and tag me in and say, Jim I’ve taken action. I look forward to hearing from you. Good luck. Thanks for listening. If you want to apply these principles into your life, let’s talk. You can see the limited spaces that are open on my calendar at JimHarshawJr.com/APPLY where you can sign up for a free one-time coaching call. With me. And don’t forget to grab your action plan. Just go to JimHarshawJr.com/ACTION. And lastly, iTunes tends to suggest podcasts with more ratings and reviews more often. You would totally make my day. If you give me a rating and review those go a long way in helping me grow the podcast audience.

[21:31] Just open up your podcast app. If you have an iPhone, do a search for success through failure. Select it and then scroll the whole way to the bottom where you can leave the podcast, a rating and a review. Now I hope this isn’t just another podcast episode for you. I hope you take action on what you learned here today.

[21:48] Good luck and thanks for listening.

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