[00:00] Mike Candrea: Today’s world, you know, especially in travel ball, kids play a lot more than they practice. They play five games for every one practice they have, and we are used to practicing five times for every one game that we have. So being able to motivate yourself and maintain your focus and your presence each and every day is really what makes the average kid become a great player.

[00:24] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Welcome to another episode of Success Through Failure, the show for successful people and for those who want to become successful, the only show that reveals the true nature of success. This is your host, Jim Harshaw, Jr. And today I bring you Coach Mike Candrea. Coach Mike Candrea is the NCAA, a softball leader in wins with over 1600 wins.

[00:47] Jim Harshaw Jr.: In fact, he was the fastest coach in NCAA history in any division, in any sport to accumulate 1600 wins. He has the fifth most division, one victories of any coach, again, in any sport. And he’s led the University of Arizona to eight national championships. That’s more than any other coach in the history of n NCAA softball.

[01:10] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And they’ve been to the College Women’s World Series 23 times. He’s also the former coach of the USA team, and, he coached at the Olympics. He was the head coach of the 2004 and the 2008 teams. They won both a silver and a gold medal. This guy, Is legit. He is one of the greatest coaches of any sport of all time, and I’m so proud to have him on here because I love interviewing world class coaches because most oftentimes they have a very refined message.

[01:45] Jim Harshaw Jr.: It comes from the heart and they really, they don’t, they’re not pitching anything. They don’t really have anything to prove or anything. They’re just showing up in and pouring out wisdom that they’ve learned from years in the fire, in the high pressure, high performance world of sport, and. I want you to take everything that he’s sharing here and make sure you’re translating it to your life, right, whether it’s in performance, whether it’s in leadership, whether it’s dealing with failures and setbacks, everything, and I mean, everything that he talks about is directly relevant to you, and you can apply this to your life.

[02:22] Jim Harshaw Jr.: It’s a really fascinating deep dive look into performance and how to deal with failure and setback, how to perform at your peak, and he shares some pretty authentic, genuine stuff about balance and how hard it is. To create world-class success and find balance at the same time. It’s an incredible interview.

[02:45] Jim Harshaw Jr.: I actually, I was referred to Coach Mike through one of my prior guests, Leah Amico back in episode 390. She was an NCAA champion softball player for him at the University of Arizona. Went on to win an Olympic gold medal herself, and just an incredible, incredible story that Leah shares there back in that episode as well.

[03:05] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Again, episode three 90, if you wanna listen to that. But after I was done talking with Leah on the podcast, I said, who do you know who would be great? And she said, you gotta interview Coach Mike Candrea. I looked him up, realized, I mean, this guy should probably be on the Mount Rushmore of NCAA coaches. He’s just, he’s one of the best coaches of any sport who’s ever coached in college and of course Olympic medal.

[03:25] Jim Harshaw Jr.: So that puts him among the best in the world at what he’s ever. Done. If you know somebody who’s a coach, give this episode a share. Let them know about this because they’re gonna gain so much wisdom from this interview. And if you know anybody who plays softball, this would be another, obviously a great interview for them to listen to as well.

[03:45] Jim Harshaw Jr.: So here we go. Without further ado, my interview with Coach Mike Candrea. What inspired you to pursue a career in softball coaching?

[03:55] Mike Candrea: Well, it’s kind of funny because my passion was the Batten Ball game. I grew up as a baseball player and Mickey Manel was my hero and all I knew was how to play baseball. I was coaching baseball in junior college and actually got talked into going into softball.

[04:10] Mike Candrea: I had, an ad there, George Young at the time, and it’s ironic cuz George was an Olympian, a four-time Olympian, and I remember looking at his bronze medal and thought that was the neatest thing in the world. Now I’m trying to get rid of that feeling of a silver medal, you know, in, in, in 2008. But he came in one day and said, Hey Mike, would you consider I need your help?

[04:33] Mike Candrea: And I go, what’s that, George? He goes, I need you to coach the women’s softball team. And at the time I was a assistant baseball coach and I said, you know, I’ll, I’ll try it, George, but I’ll only do it for a year because I don’t really wanna coach women and I’m a pretty good baseball guy. And. So I tried it for a year and then after that year I decided, well, you know, we had a decent year and I said, God, if I go find a pitcher, we can witness things.

[04:58] Mike Candrea: So I went out and recruited, Connie Clark, who ended up being the head coach at Texas, started the program at the University of Texas. But Connie was my first pitcher that I recruited that took me to the Promise Land, won back to back championships, and then went on to Arizona. And that was, that was it.

[05:15] Mike Candrea: I mean, that’s what. Gave me my start as a softball coach, and from then on it was a new career. And so I feel blessed to, to have followed the path that George had in mind for

[05:27] Jim Harshaw Jr.: me. And you went on to coach some of the. Well-known talented players in in the history of US softball and collegially, and internationally.

[05:37] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Jenny Finch, Caitlin Lowe, Leo O’Brien Now, now Leah Amco, who for the listener. Leah was actually a guest on the podcast. She’s an Olympic gold medalist, episode 390, but coach. In your experience, what separates the most successful, like the elite from those who don’t quite make it to the top? Like the good, but not the great.

[05:59] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Is it purely talent or are there other factors at play?

[06:02] Mike Candrea: Well, that’s a great question and I think when I look back at my experience, obviously they all have a skillset, a very high skill set that you have to have. But I think what separates them truthfully is their ability to handle failure. You know, we play game of failure in softball and the best hitters gotta hit three outta 10 times.

[06:22] Mike Candrea: And if you look at the Olympic level, it’s even less than that when you get into the Olympic arena. So I think their ability to handle failure, and the other thing is their ability to put the team first, that they’re good teammates. No matter how good they were, they, they accept a role and they’re really, truly good teammates.

[06:43] Mike Candrea: If you watch the Olympic games and you watch that dugout, you know, you’ve got 17 or 18 kids that were all, all Americans. And so they all had to take on a different role and they were very quick at accepting that role and doing what they could to represent something bigger than them, and that was their country usa.

[07:04] Mike Candrea: And so a very unique experience.

[07:07] Jim Harshaw Jr.: You talk about their ability to handle failure, like what does that look like? They strike out, they ground out and they fly out, whatever, they come back to the bench and they, and they move past it. I mean, what do you see in successful athletes who can move past failure?

[07:21] Mike Candrea: Well, I think a lot of it is their response. So, I mean, one, one thing that I look at is during practice sessions when something occurs, an error, you know, how does that kid respond to that error? And for most of them, they have some unique way to kind of handle that moment, whether it’s maybe turning around, picking up some dirt, throwing it on the ground to get rid of the thought.

[07:46] Mike Candrea: But truthfully, offensively, it was amazing because they would strike out and they’d walk back to the dugout, they’d put their bat up and they’d say, I’m gonna get her next time. You know, so they were always in that positive mind frame and I thought it was very, very, unique that you would have an entire team like that at the college level.

[08:07] Mike Candrea: You know, its completely different because kids expect. They’ve been put on a pedestal, they expect to do well, and when they don’t, they start hitting a panic button. You know, where these kids are 27 years old. So they’re more mature mentally, physically, emotionally, and therefore they understand the ups and downs of the game.

[08:29] Mike Candrea: They understand that that’s part of the game. And maybe that’s the fun part of the game is learning how to deal with those things. And, so it’s a completely different mindset.

[08:38] Jim Harshaw Jr.: So you talk about a thing that some of them do, picking up a handful of dirt and thrown out on the ground. So that’s a thing that some athletes would do to, to kind of get rid of the thought.

[08:47] Jim Harshaw Jr.: It’s like a physical, okay, this is, I’m releasing this.

[08:50] Mike Candrea: Yeah. And it’s, it’s an anchor that everyone has, and sometimes the easiest anchor is breathing. I. You know, turning around, taking a deep breath. But I think the great athlete has a unique way of keeping their mind in the present moment. You know, they, they don’t spend a lot of time in the past.

[09:07] Mike Candrea: They’re where their feet are all the time. And that is today. And I think the other thing that I saw from them was they were very, very good at putting themselves in the Olympic arena before they got there. How so? Talk about that. Yeah. Well, so, you know, I mean, we, we could be at practice in Chula Vista, California, and I remember hearing Lisa Fernandez doing a pitching workout, you know, and she’s down there pitching against Japan.

[09:32] Mike Candrea: And you think about that, how unique is that to be able to put yourself in that Olympic arena as many times as possible before you even get there. And so I thought that that was a very unique thing for them. They would constantly play little games with themselves. To make sure that they were prepared for the Olympic arena because you know, the one unique thing about the Olympic Games is we’re practicing for four years, for one week of competition.

[09:58] Mike Candrea: So there’s a lot more practice than there are games, right? Today’s world, you know, especially in travel ball, kids play a lot more than they practice. They play five games for every one practice they have, and we’re used to practicing five times for every one game that we had. So being able to motivate yourself and maintain your focus and your presence each and every day is really what makes the average kid become a great player.

[10:25] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Quick interruption. Hey, if you like what you’re hearing, be sure to get the notes, quotes, and links in the action plan from this episode. Just go to JimHarshawJr.com/action. That’s JimHarshawJr.com/action to get your free copy of the action plan. Now back to the show. And for the listener, I want you to make sure everything coach is talking about you translate this to your life, right?

[10:50] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Whether it’s in your career or that sales presentation or meeting with your boss, or the promotion that you’re going for, or whatever the situation might be in your life. And make sure you’re thinking about how you can apply these directly to your life. Because really athletics is just played out in front of us, but all this is just directly relevant to the real world.

[11:07] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And. You also talked coach about the language. You know, after they strike out, they come back to the dugout and they say, I’ll get, I’ll get it next time. This is a, a thing that you hear your athletes saying.

[11:19] Mike Candrea: Yeah, well it’s, you know, it’s positive self-talk. I mean, you know, let’s think about it. I always tell our kids the game’s never gonna be in life threatening, so don’t make it bigger than what it is.

[11:29] Mike Candrea: And I think many a times. We make what’s, especially when we’re young and a little bit immature and maybe a little bit selfish, we make things that are not important in the scheme of things important. And that’s how you get yourself in trouble. You know, don’t select the small stuff. We’ve all heard all these things, but I think in, in athletics, that’s really, really true.

[11:53] Mike Candrea: I mean, you’ve gotta have a way to handle failure, so you have to have a plan because it’s gonna happen. You know, same thing with a team. I mean, you got a, got a group of 18 individuals, you better make sure that you spend a little time on crisis intervention because it’s gonna happen. And do you want it to, to blow, you know, the team up or do you want them to be able to have the tools to handle, you know, when things occur?

[12:20] Mike Candrea: I mean, it happens all the time.

[12:22] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Yeah. And I remember when I was wrestling, I read an article, it was. The beginning of my senior year, it was an article in this wrestling magazine where they, there was a coach who was talking about how, you know, when you step on the wrestling mat, don’t blow it up to be too big of a thing.

[12:37] Jim Harshaw Jr.: You’re, no one’s gonna be shooting at you’re not gonna die out there. This is a game at the end of the day. And actually, kale Sanderson just heard him say in a press conference in Cal Sanderson. For those who don’t know, he’s. College wrestling coach had wrestling coach at Penn State University.

[12:52] Jim Harshaw Jr.: They’ve won, I forget, eight of the last 10 or 10 of the last 12 national championships. I’m getting my numbers mixed up, but, but a, a great athlete and a great coach, and he said the same thing. He’s like, this, this is a game, right? Don’t blow this up to be more than what it is. And another guest I had on the podcast, a world champion wrestler, Jayden Cox, said he found success whenever he realized that failure actually, Is an option, like it’s going to happen.

[13:15] Jim Harshaw Jr.: It’s a thing that happens along the way. It sucks. We don’t want it. But once you accept that, that’s part of it, then you can reframe it and move past it

[13:24] Mike Candrea: much easier. Absolutely. I think, I think it’s part of the process and, if you make it part of the process, then your players will look at failure in a different way.

[13:34] Mike Candrea: They look at it as an opportunity to get better. Because it, it, it is going to be there and we have to learn how to deal with it. But I think too many times we don’t practice failure recovery. We don’t have a plan for when it happens. And, I think it’s very important that each and every kid is kind prepared for that, you know, and it’s something that you have to talk through.

[13:57] Jim Harshaw Jr.: What do you mean failure recovery, like practicing failure recovery.

[14:01] Mike Candrea: Well, exactly what you just said. You know, you have to practice it. And so part of your repetition, softball’s a game of repetition is when something happens, do I have a recovery plan to get myself back moving forward? You know, the

[14:18] Jim Harshaw Jr.: words, the picking up, the hands throwing, putting up the dirt it in the ground.

[14:21] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Yeah. Right?

[14:22] Mike Candrea: Yeah. And a lot of times it’s, it’s having teammates that help you. Also with that. So that’s what I loved about the Olympic, experience because those kids were mature and they had played the game and so they had the database that you need to be successful. So they, they didn’t have blinders on when they played.

[14:43] Mike Candrea: They could look at the big picture and they could help others get better. And boy, that’s a unique thing and that’s a pretty neat thing when, when your players are helping each other. Go through these tough times in a positive way.

[14:57] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And for the listener, we talk about the value of the environment of excellence on this podcast and in my coaching program, it’s about being around other people.

[15:07] Jim Harshaw Jr.: When you’re around other people who are operating at a high level, it raises your level. You can raise their level, and that’s the essence of sport, especially team sports like softball. Exactly. Coach, we talked about what makes a successful individual, what sets the grade apart from the good? What about teams?

[15:25] Jim Harshaw Jr.: What do you believe sets successful elite teams apart from those who are good but maybe struggle to achieve their goals?

[15:35] Mike Candrea: Well, you know, it, it’s a bunch of little moving parts and if I could kind of describe, you know, at, at the end of my career when I retired, I kind of looked at what, what was really my main job as a coach.

[15:47] Mike Candrea: And truthfully, the first thing is I had to recruit great talent. And so part of that is surrounding yourself with people that have the same goals and aspirations that you do. One thing I found with successful people is that they tend to surround themselves with people that are successful. You know, and I think with, when it comes to a team, I think that is a big piece of it, is the type of kid that you’re bringing into your program.

[16:16] Mike Candrea: And for me, when I first started coaching, it used to be skillset. I’d go out and recruit the kid that had the best skillset in the world. And as I got older, I realized that, you know, there’s, there’s some things that you can’t teach. There’s some intangibles that. Kids have to have for your team to be successful and whether it was being competitive or whether it was hard work, or whether it was being able to handle failure, you know, the biggest common denominator of all that was character, high character.

[16:46] Mike Candrea: And so I started recruiting kids of high character because I’m a firm believer that you have to coach the person first to make the athlete. You know, and I think that can get you in trouble a a lot if you’re, as a young coach, all I worried about was the skillset and I worried about the game, you know, the Xs and Os.

[17:07] Mike Candrea: But as I got older, I realized for me to build a team, you know, a culture, then I needed to find kids that had high character, that we’re willing to, to make other people better, that were able to handle controversy. Are crisis and good teams are those type of teams. You know, those teams have the right ingredients, but I think the biggest thing is they hold each other accountable.

[17:34] Mike Candrea: And when I look at my best teams, that they held each other accountable in their own way. Because when I was young, I used to think that I set the culture from the outside in. But truthfully, I realized that the culture is set from the inside out. So there’s a lot of little things that have to happen. To be a good team, you have to have leadership.

[17:55] Mike Candrea: You have to be able to hold each other accountable. You have to have good teammates. You know, you have to people that have a passion for what they’re doing, because to me, passion is why I do what I do. You know, I had a passion for the bad ball game, and I got to follow my passion. And I tell people I’ve never worked a day in my life because I’m doing what I love to do.

[18:16] Mike Candrea: And so I think good teams love each other. They like being around each other because we spend a lot of time together. I mean, I think for a certain reason is that they’re all of high character kids that, that understand, what it’s like to be a good family or a good team, a good culture. And

[18:36] Jim Harshaw Jr.: I was gonna ask you about culture, and I think you answered that question.

[18:39] Jim Harshaw Jr.: How do you create a winning culture? and it sounds like getting the right people. Have you ever, oh, I’m sure you have. Can you tell us about a time or, or how you handle when you. When you have maybe the wrong person, maybe you misread somebody or things go sour, how do you handle that?

[18:56] Mike Candrea: Well, that’s a good question because It’s gonna happen, you know, I mean, if you’re gonna coach for 47 years, you’re, it’s not gonna be all roses.

[19:05] Mike Candrea: You know? You’re gonna have moments where as a coach, you get put into a corner to have to make a decision, and sometimes that one decision can dictate the future. Of your programs. So I think foremost, you know, I think coaches need to make sure that they are a person of character. They need to make sure that they are consistent.

[19:28] Mike Candrea: You know, I want kids to know I’m gonna be every day. I’m not here one day and here the next. They need to bring emotional stability. To their players, you know? So all of those things I think are are huge in creating that culture that you need. But when it goes bad, I always go back to relationships. You know, everything I do is building relationships as a coach.

[19:52] Mike Candrea: That is the primary responsibility is for me to build, build relationships that are gonna last a lifetime. Not just the four years that they’re with me, but forever. And I go back to, you have to coach the person first before you can coach the athlete. So when you have to make those tough decisions and have those tough discussions, if you haven’t built a relationship, it’s hard to do.

[20:15] Mike Candrea: It’s impossible to do. But if you built a relationship, it’s much easier to have those tough discussions and to be able to guide young people to, you know, in the right direction. Because they’re gonna make mistakes. We, we understand that, but at the end of the day, you know, we wanna make sure that, that they understand that there’s a right way and a wrong way to do things.

[20:38] Mike Candrea: And so a lot of it is the standards that you set every day, the standards you have as a person, how you live your life, because they’re going to, what you do is more powerful than what you say. Cause they hear about 20% of what we say. You know, so being that example, being that mentor, being that role model, I think is so important, especially in today’s world because kids come from a lot of different backgrounds.

[21:06] Mike Candrea: You know, not everyone has a mom and a dad. Some people I’m their dad away from home. I may be their dad that they never had, you know, so you have to take that responsibility pretty seriously. And I do. Because there’s one thing I never wanted to do is disappoint any kid that I ever coached by making a bad decision.

[21:26] Mike Candrea: And so I think it starts with that coach to be able to look in the mirror and say, I like what I see and this is a standard I’m gonna set, and it’s 24 7. You know, it’s not just when you want to.

[21:40] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And for the listener, I wanna emphasize the importance that Coach talked about around relationships and, you know, relationships with you.

[21:48] Jim Harshaw Jr.: You said young people can, you know, may make a bad decision and, you know, you have to influence these young folks. and for the leaders who are listening to this, you know, maybe you’re a leader in a, in a corporate environment or, or some kind of professional environment and that young person may not be a 20 something.

[22:03] Jim Harshaw Jr.: College softball player, but it may be a a 30 something new hire. Right? Or even a a 40 something, right? And so it’s about these relationships. If you’re leading people, it may be somebody who’s older than you who you were leading. You’re in a leadership role by title, and you have to lead that person. Can you build that relationship?

[22:21] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And coach, I think it’s so fascinating how you said your main job was to build relationships.

[22:27] Mike Candrea: Always felt that way. You know, when I think if I look at my strengths, people always ask me know, what do you think your strengths were as a coach? And I, the first thing that comes to mind is yeah, I knew the game and I loved the game.

[22:38] Mike Candrea: I was always a student of the game, but at the end of the day, I was a really good people person. I loved building relationships because I always felt like, That was gonna be the foundation, you know, if something cracked, it was because we did not understand one another. We didn’t know one another. I used to say this, that men have to play good to feel good and women have to feel good to play good.

[23:02] Mike Candrea: and that kinda got me really thinking about, you know, if the first thing I’ve gotta do is make sure that that young woman feels good about themselves. Before I even worry about the game. And so that’s, that was kinda my journey for the 42 years that I

[23:19] Jim Harshaw Jr.: softball. Yeah. What about during the challenging times?

[23:23] Jim Harshaw Jr.: What strategies would you use to keep your players, players motivated and focused after a loss or a slump or, or during challenging times.

[23:34] Mike Candrea: Yeah. You know, I think obviously there’s a lot of different moments in my career and first of all is we’re, we’re gonna have those moments. No one wins every game and no one’s gonna feel good every day.

[23:46] Mike Candrea: So you kind of be, have to be prepared for that. And I think the big thing was never making the moment bigger than life. You know, if, if a kid went over 10. You know, at 17, 18 years old, man, it’s, it’s pretty life threatening to them. I mean, it’s the most important thing to them, but I was always the person that always related things in sport, in our game to life, because I thought that my job was to prepare them for life after softball.

[24:18] Mike Candrea: And so everything that occurred in the game was really a lesson in life. You know, for instance, I’m, you know, a kid went over 20 and they’re feeling bad. I said, well, let’s walk across the street to the cancer center and let me walk you through a ward of young kids that can’t do what you’re doing. So keeping the game in perspective, I think is, was huge.

[24:40] Mike Candrea: You know, and even as a coach, I mean, I’ve honest you, I wasn’t good at that. I kind of blew through the victories and the losses took chunks outta my body. That’s that competitive nature that we all have. But, I never did, I never used to celebrate the small victories cause I was always moving forward.

[25:00] Mike Candrea: I was always preparing for the next moment. You know, and I look back now at, at my career and I wish I would’ve taken more time to enjoy not just the good times, but even some of the bad times, because I think some of those bad times were the reason why we ended up circling the wagons and getting back on, on the winning track.

[25:21] Mike Candrea: I think life has a way of kind of reminding you of that, you know, I mean, Oklahoma City, we always go to the bomb, the area of the, where the bombing was and that, that really kinda makes things. Real about we’re playing a game. You know, it’s, it’s only a game. You know, at the end of the day, you’ve gotta have fun and you’re gonna make mistakes and, but so what?

[25:41] Mike Candrea: You know, I loved working with medical people and I working with the military. I mean, probably if I wouldn’t have coached. I really think my best fit would’ve been in the military. Cause I love structure, I love discipline, I love having a process. And so right now I’m a, an honorary commander at, at Davis Air Force Base with a helicopter group.

[26:05] Mike Candrea: And it’s, it’s kind of fun watching them work and watching what we do. and at the end of the day, it’s like, you know what? There’s not a game that we’re gonna play that’s gonna end up in a life-threatening situation where, These guys are protecting our lives. Every day they make a mistake. It’s a life, you know?

[26:24] Mike Candrea: So I think having a good wholesome outlook on why we do what we do, I think is very important. And, you try not to make it bigger than what it is, but as a competitor, it’s hard. You know, it’s really hard. I mean, there’s a lot of things that I’m really good at presenting to my players that sometimes I needed to listen to it myself.

[26:46] Mike Candrea: You know, I wasn’t probably the best parent at one time because I was so obsessed with winning championships. I had to change my thought process because I thought that I was only successful if I won a national championship. So if I didn’t win, man, that summer was miserable and I couldn’t wait for the next practice to start the next year.

[27:08] Mike Candrea: You know, and I look back now and I, there’s a lot of things that I talked to, to people today that I should have listened to back then. Part of that is making sure that you have some type of a balance in your life, because it’s, it’s hard when you’re achieving greatness or achieving excellence to really have balance.

[27:29] Mike Candrea: It takes a lot to be successful. Yet. On the other hand, I think at the end of the day, if you’re looking at, in the scheme of life, it’s only a blip on the screen, you know, that one year or that one game. And so what’s more important is your, your overall wellbeing. So I’ve learned a lot, you know, about maybe some of the decisions I made, but I had to kinda redefine success to me because you can’t define success by winning a national championship over year.

[27:59] Mike Candrea: That’s crazy. But yet there was a time in my career where we were winning it or finishing second every year, and it was like that was the expectation, you know? And then, then all of a sudden, now reality sets in. You have this dry spell for a while, and then when you get to go back to the World Series, it’s like it’s a special moment again.

[28:17] Mike Candrea: You know, so I think, I think the good Lord teaches us those lessons. whether we know it or not, I think it’s pretty important that as leaders or as coaches, that we need to make sure that kids understand that, that it’s a game that we play and you need to have fun with it. And you need to realize that there’s gonna be bigger games that you’re gonna have to play, when you get into life.

[28:42] Mike Candrea: And I’ve had to play some of those games. You know, losing a wife to a brain aneurysm, perfectly healthy, one moment, gone the next, you know, that’s bigger than the game of softball. That situation really kinda helped me realize, number one, you better enjoy every moment you’re here because we’re here for a short time.

[29:03] Mike Candrea: But number two, how things can change very quickly. You know, and so, yeah, I got slammed on the ground, you know, I mean, all I did was coach. I never had to worry about what my kids needed. Cause my wife did that for me, and then all of a sudden she’s not there. It’s, you have to become the father that you maybe weren’t, you might have been the coach for all those years, but you weren’t really there.

[29:27] Mike Candrea: And I remember back in the early nineties coaching the national team in St. John’s, Newfoundland. And I was an assistant coach for, Ralph Raymond, and we were playing at the World Championships there getting ready for the Olympic Games in six, which was the very first Olympic game softball was in. And I remember being in this little dorm room and I was absolutely miserable for some reason, but, Luckily it had windows and I could watch Japan and China run by my window every morning in formation, you know, and then they would stop under the grass area and take dry swings and just marveled by their discipline.

[30:06] Mike Candrea: And, got home from that trip. And, you know, after your gone for a month and a half, you would think your, your kid would say, dad, welcome home. And Michael was a sophomore in high school and he said, dad, can we talk? And I go, oh my God, what happened? He goes, well, dad, I was just wondering if, if you would consider dropping outta the coaching pool, USA coaching pool so you can watch me play baseball.

[30:29] Mike Candrea: So here’s a, a young kid saying, dad, I need you as a dad, you know, and we love all the stuff you’re doing. We love these national championships and we love you coaching the US team, but can you be around to maybe watch me play baseball? And I did. I dropped outta the coaching pool. Coached Michael for the next three summers and, but it was him that kinda woke me up a little bit and said, you know, your life’s getting outta balance.

[30:51] Mike Candrea: You know, you’ve gotta find some balance in your life. And, you know, Leah Miko was, I mean, I love her, like my own daughter, and she really kinda helped me through some tough times because when I did lose my wife during the Olympic games, that Olympic team in, in 2004 really became my protective net.

[31:09] Mike Candrea: They’re the ones that kind of lifted me up and kept me going, you know, and you don’t realize how, how special this sport is. And what you do every day and how it affects so many people. Because the outpouring love, and and respect from all over the world because of this stupid game of softball that we play, made me realize, man, you know, this is a kind of a neat thing, but I had to reevaluate things and.

[31:38] Mike Candrea: And I think what it was was just kind of reevaluating how family is so important and that you need to spend more time with family. And I think work’s important also. And so the big thing was when you’re at work, be at work. But when you’re at home, be at home. Cause I was always at work when I was at home.

[31:55] Mike Candrea: I was always in the seventh, sixth inning of the game when I was at home or eating dinner with my wife. You know, and, not ever became really good about that. But I think the other thing was my faith and I’m not here to preach, but it’s a very big part of my life. and people ask, how, how have you gotten through what you have?

[32:15] Mike Candrea: You know, I lost a child at three weeks old looking at hospital bills with no insurance going, how am I gonna ever get through this? lost a player, 21 years old of DI diabetes. That was, played the championship game in May and was gone in June, you know, and then my wife passes away suddenly and you know, your mom and dad pass away and you kind of expect that.

[32:39] Mike Candrea: But it’s just, there’s so much to life and I think a big part of that is having faith, having some type of being that you. Trust in that you, you know, can answer those questions on why it happened to me. Thank my mom because I, she used to take me to catechism class every Saturday and my Catholic faith is a big part of me, you know, and I love going to church now, and I’ve been, been able to become more involved with organizations at our church and being a LEC at our church.

[33:09] Mike Candrea: And so all of these things are kind of blessings after retirement that you never had a chance or never had the time. To do because at the end of the day, I spent more time with other people’s kids than my own kids. And I wouldn’t change it, but I would be a lot smarter now because I commuted from 72 miles, one way to work for 21 years.

[33:33] Mike Candrea: Why did I do that? And that, and that kind of had a built-in barrier of, you know, you’re on the road for two hours a day. You know, that’s two hours outta your day that you don’t have time. And so there was a lot of little decisions that I thought I was making the right decision, but I really wasn’t, you know, in the scheme of things.

[33:49] Mike Candrea: And that’s part of getting older and growing a little wiser, you know? And I wish I had some redos, but, you don’t have redos in life, so you move forward.

[34:02] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Coach, I appreciate you sharing all of that because it’s so easy from the outside looking in. To look at world-class performers like yourself and say things were just easier for them.

[34:15] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Everything’s rosy, everything’s perfect for the listener. This is a guy who was as successful as they come and. Nos. Looking back like there’s, there’s a struggle there with balance. There’s a struggle there with family. There’s a struggle there with defining success and redefining success. We heard in a recent podcast interview right here on Success Through Failure with Sherry Cole is she’s a Hall of fame women’s basketball coach.

[34:44] Jim Harshaw Jr.: It sounds like you know her, Mike, and an amazing individual and. And a lot of the same things come up. The challenge, the, you know, she talked about a moment where she walked in the door and dropped to her knees and said, I can’t do this. It’s hard, right? No matter where you’re at, like, life is hard and there are challenges.

[35:03] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And for the listener, just because you’re dealing with them, I don’t care whether you’re successful from the outside looking in or, or not, or, or healthy and fit, or you have a great marriage or a terrible marriage like, You’re not alone. Like this is real. And we’re hearing from a guy who, who has operated at the highest, highest levels and dealt with the same things that everybody

[35:23] Mike Candrea: else has, you know, and I think some of that experience helped me dealing with Covid because people were calling me right and left about what are you doing with your team?

[35:32] Mike Candrea: And, you know, how are you getting your, your reps in and you’re practicing? And I’m, at the end of the day was like, you know what? I really, the game’s the last thing I need to worry about right now. It’s just the wellbeing of our student athletes. You know, and I think Covid, although was a very terrible thing to go through, it really brought out some, some new ways of communication and it really made people realize that that number one, it there’s some serious issues that kids were having, and number two, that the person is the most important thing.

[36:05] Mike Candrea: The athlete will come if you take care of the person and. You know, that’s kinda the way I’ve always felt. But unfortunately I didn’t feel that same way about myself. I didn’t take care of myself, you know, or my family before I took care of the athlete and so yeah, I think that’s part of life is learning from your mistakes.

[36:26] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Coach Mike Candrea you’ve impacted so many people, so many student athletes, so many Olympic athletes, and I appreciate you taking the time to impact me and my audience. Thank you for making

[36:37] Mike Candrea: the time. Absolutely. It’s been my pleasure.

[36:43] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Thanks for listening. If you want to apply these principles into your life, let’s talk.

[36:47] Jim Harshaw Jr.: You can see the limited spaces that are open on my calendar JimHarshawJr.com/apply, where you can sign up for a free one-time coaching call directly with me. And don’t forget to grab your action plan. Just go to JimHarshawJr.com/action. And lastly, iTunes tends to suggest podcasts with more ratings and reviews more often.

[37:09] Jim Harshaw Jr.: You would totally make my day if you give me a rating and review. Those go a long way in helping me grow the podcast audience. Just open up your podcast app. If you have an iPhone, do a search for success through failure, select it, and then scroll the whole way to the bottom where you can leave the podcast a rating and review.

[37:27] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Now, I hope this isn’t just another podcast episode for you. I hope you take action on what you learned here today. Good luck and thanks for listening.

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