[00:00] Nicodemus Christopher: I think that if you’re looking at the whole person or the whole athlete, whatever descriptive you want to use, I think that there are seven different dimensions that have to be fed and that you have to pay attention to. In any area where you’re not intentional or any area that you’re not giving attention to, it’s naturally going to lean towards decay.

[00:25] Nicodemus Christopher: So you’re getting worse.

[00:28] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Welcome to another episode of success for the athletic minded man, real talk on harnessing your athletic drive for clarity, consistency, and focus in business and life. This is your host, Jim Harsher Jr. And today I bring you Nicodemus Christopher. Nicodemus is a performance coach for NBA superstars, NBA champions, as well as CEOs and executives.

[00:53] Jim Harshaw Jr.: He’s worked with the elite of the elite. And I shouldn’t say he has worked. He does work currently works with the elite of the elite. Michael Porter jr. Who he mentions on the podcast here, who is a NBA champion for the Denver Nuggets and sort of a higher profile player there, but he just works with some amazing people.

[01:10] Jim Harshaw Jr.: He was recommended to me by Josh Bonatal, who I had on the podcast. A few weeks ago, just a great conversation with Josh and Boyd. Nicodemus is just really cut from the same cloth as myself in terms of our frameworks and our philosophies, but he comes at it from a different perspective and you’re going to learn so much from this interview and have a lot of great takeaways, just like I did.

[01:30] Jim Harshaw Jr.: So let’s get into it. My interview with Nicodemus Christopher. Why don’t you tell us about your athletic background first?

[01:37] Nicodemus Christopher: Yeah, so I would go back to high school, play every sport there is to play. You know, growing up in Texas, that’s just what you do. But I realized early on that my future was not that of a professional athlete.

[01:52] Nicodemus Christopher: I realized that I had a ceiling to my athleticism or my ability on the court or on the field or whatever it may be. Yeah. So what I ended up doing is just focusing on academics. Went to Baylor university, originally went to Baylor university, thinking that I was going to be a anesthesiologist, wanted to be a doctor.

[02:08] Nicodemus Christopher: So studying biology there was fortunate enough to have an older brother who was also studying biology. He wanted to be a neurologist. And then I guess you can say that would be our reintroduction into the athletic world going into our junior year. For reasons unknown still, my brother decided he wanted to be a performance coach, right?

[02:29] Nicodemus Christopher: So he came home one day and we sat down and he expressed like, Hey, our dream of being doctors and working together. I don’t know about that anymore. I think I want to be a. Performance coach or strength and conditioning coach at the time. I was confused. What is that? He explained it as, Hey, they’re kind of the person that’s behind the scenes that helped helps athletes develop.

[02:50] Nicodemus Christopher: They form good relationships, train them in the weight room, have various other different roles, but I really love it. We love sports. I’m the younger brother. So I dove in, uh, head first, right? And now we’re what? Too many years beyond that, probably about 18, 19 years past that. And we dedicated our life to, uh, performance coaching and working with young athletes.

[03:15] Jim Harshaw Jr.: So I’ve heard people say in the past, you can’t work with a coach. Don’t work with a coach who hasn’t done what you’re trying to do. You haven’t won NBA championships, but you work with NBA champions. Yes. How do you, how do you defend that statement? I know how I defend it, but I, cause I think it’s, you know, I was an all American wrestler and my best coaches, you know, weren’t all Americans.

[03:37] Jim Harshaw Jr.: So, but anyway, go ahead.

[03:39] Nicodemus Christopher: You know, I think one thing that you have to have to be a good coach is character and character does not discriminate to athletes or non athletes. I think that is the number one thing. That you want from a good coach, the one thing that qualifies you to be a good coach is good character, right?

[03:57] Nicodemus Christopher: You could have wins and losses on paper that does not make you a good coach, right? Obviously, you want to win championships, but I think that the thing that qualifies you the most to be a good coach is character. The other thing is credibility. And that comes with time that comes with building trust. And then additional to that, you want to have an understanding and a knowledge of the game, right?

[04:20] Nicodemus Christopher: So, I mean, anything that we see the rise in data and analytics in the NBA collegially and things of that nature. So there’s a plethora of information and you have to take it upon yourself to study. But yeah, I don’t, I don’t necessarily believe in that philosophy because there are some great coaches at all levels who didn’t play.

[04:40] Nicodemus Christopher: But they were obsessed with the game.

[04:43] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And there’s so much more than dribbling a basketball that goes into basketball, for example, and you’re studying performance and mindset and all these other things that go into performance that don’t involve holding an orange ball in your hand or whatever sport it might be, you know, that’s

[04:59] Nicodemus Christopher: exactly

[05:00] Jim Harshaw Jr.: it.

[05:01] Jim Harshaw Jr.: So tell us more about what

[05:02] Nicodemus Christopher: you do now. That’s a loaded question. We’ll go back. So I spent what the better half of 10 years as a performance director at various universities. Started off at Stanford. I went to Purdue University, spent some time at Purdue University of Tennessee, the University of Missouri and the University of California at Berkeley.

[05:21] Nicodemus Christopher: Those stops were with the same head coach. So he and I had such a great relationship that wherever he went, I went. And I was his performance coach. I was his strength and conditioning coach. Fortunately, at each of those universities, I had the opportunity to be the director of performance. So, um, with that came a ton of responsibility in terms of developing frameworks and infrastructure, uh, regarding developing these athletes.

[05:47] Nicodemus Christopher: Right? What is performance? How do you improve performance? And how do you communicate that in a way that the athletes understand it, the coaches understand it, administration understands it, and you get the results. So it was through that time, loved it, enjoyed it. But I realized that as a performance director, collegiately, specifically at that time, we’ve come a little bit further now.

[06:10] Nicodemus Christopher: I felt like, well, you were only allowed to address what I call one. Of the seven dimensions of wellbeing, right? I think that if you’re looking at the whole person or the whole athlete, whatever descriptive you want to use, I think that there are seven different dimensions that have to be fed and that you have to pay attention to.

[06:32] Nicodemus Christopher: In any area where you’re not intentional or any area that you’re not giving attention to, it’s naturally going to lean towards decay. So you’re getting worse. And I began to get frustrated at the idea that I was only able to. able for NCA reasons to because of the scope of practice of a performance coach at that time to fill that physiological or biological or physical bucket, right?

[07:01] Nicodemus Christopher: Because there’s these six other buckets that make them who they are.

[07:05] Jim Harshaw Jr.: So by the way, for the listener, We’re talking about performance here. We’re talking about an athlete or athletes that, that Nicodemus has worked with and works with. It’s not just about the sport. And for you, the listener, it’s not just about the leadership or the sales calls you have to make, or the TPS reports that you have to fill out.

[07:25] Jim Harshaw Jr.: There’s so much more. So I’m excited to hear about these seven dimensions.

[07:29] Nicodemus Christopher: Yeah, obviously those dimensions, there’s the spiritual dimension, the physical dimension, the psychological dimension, relational dimension, occupational or professional dimension, the generational dimension and the financial dimension.

[07:42] Nicodemus Christopher: Right? So I think that those are seven key areas that you have to be very intentionable. intentional about filling those buckets. I call them buckets too, right? So we have to fill those buckets. We have to make sure that we’re increasing the capacity of those buckets. We have to make sure that there’s no leak as a collegiate director of strength and conditioning or performance coach.

[08:01] Nicodemus Christopher: I was only able to really pour into that physical bucket, but I created opportunities to where I was able to, you know, pour into that psychological bucket a little bit, because they are athletes, you’re pouring into that professional bucket because they hope that that’s going to go on to be their profession.

[08:17] Nicodemus Christopher: But I really, really wanted to focus on that and emphasize that. So I leveraged the relationships that I had and the experience that I had with these guys, because I’m spending what probably 350 days out of the year with them. And I know where the gaps are in their life. I know where the white space is.

[08:36] Nicodemus Christopher: I know what the needs are. I know what they’re lacking and to see that and to have a governing body say, well, that’s outside of your scope of practice, kind of frustrating. Right. So I stepped away and began working on my own essentially as a consultant. And you look up now and the guys that I work with, with some would call me their performance coach.

[08:57] Nicodemus Christopher: Other guys call me their manager. So, um, manager and performance coach for professional athletes.

[09:03] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Quick interruption. Hey, if you like what you’re hearing, be sure to get the notes, quotes, and links in the action plan from this episode. Just go to Jim Herschel, jr. com slash action. That’s Jim Harsha, jr. com slash action to get your free copy of the action plan.

[09:18] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Now back to the show. So when you look at the highest performing athletes, I know you’ve worked with, maybe still do with Michael Porter, the nuggets and, you know, NBA champion. When you look at these guys, are they at level 10 on all seven dimensions? Nobody’s

[09:35] Nicodemus Christopher: at level 10 on all seven dimensions at all, right?

[09:38] Nicodemus Christopher: They, and most people forget these guys are in the most cases, the guys that I work with are 18 to 25 years old, who would expect, if you’re not a professional athlete, who expects an 18 to 25 year old to be operating all seven dimensions. On level 10 and all of those dimensions. Most people don’t even know what they’re going to do professionally in life at 25 years old.

[09:59] Nicodemus Christopher: So you’re asking a 19 year old to operate level 10 professionally, right? Physically, you’re still developing psychologically. We know you’re still developing, right? Spiritually. You’re still finding your purpose, figuring out who you are. So this expectation that these guys, because they operate on level 10, 10 physically because they are the top less than 1 percent in the world in basketball.

[10:25] Nicodemus Christopher: We assume that they should be operating in that same caliber and every other area.

[10:30] Jim Harshaw Jr.: So they’re crushing it physically. That’s why they’re, let’s say in the NBA, they’re operating at the highest level in that one of seven categories. When you look at the highest performers who you’ve worked with, you know, maybe in sport, maybe outside of sport too.

[10:45] Jim Harshaw Jr.: What are the ones where you see they’re typically operating the highest at? And what are the categories where you think they’re, you typically see people really missing and just overlooking?

[10:55] Nicodemus Christopher: I would say relationally is overlooked, but significantly, I think spirit, the spiritual dimension, the spiritual category is grossly overlooked.

[11:05] Nicodemus Christopher: Right? And when I say spiritual, I mean, I’m a believer. So there’s a part of faith that’s included in that. But I also think that purpose is highly spiritual. So I think that most of these guys, because they’ve had this gift and this talent that’s been recognized since three or four years old, they feel like basketball is their purpose and they never take the time to figure out their identity, figure out who they are outside of basketball.

[11:35] Nicodemus Christopher: And I’m a firm believer that something that the average career, which lasts three to five years is not your purpose. It’s simply a vehicle. It’s a vehicle for purpose. So most of these guys have no idea who they are off the court. They have no idea who they are outside of basketball. And that’s why you see when they transition away from the game.

[11:57] Nicodemus Christopher: I think that’s when you start to see these headlines or even while they’re in the game. I won’t name specific players, but you see these headlines and that’s because they’ve put everything into this one bucket, this professional bucket, or even this physical bucket, and they’ve been apathetical and all these other areas, just non intentional.

[12:18] Jim Harshaw Jr.: We’re not really taught that. Yeah. I mean, taught to figure out what our purpose is or, you know, or how to be relational and, you know, financial, all of these, like we’re really not taught that stuff in school and mostly not by our parents and for the former athletes listening, like you’re not taught this by your coaches, you maybe, maybe a little bit, depending on the coach.

[12:38] Jim Harshaw Jr.: I think some coaches try to work this in, but, but by and large, You’re taught to do what you’re paid to do, which is, you know, when you’re a high school or college athlete, it’s that a professional athlete, it’s, it’s a sport. Uh, you know, when you get graduate college, you get into the real world for the listeners who are out there.

[12:53] Jim Harshaw Jr.: You know, they have their nine to five job. They’re taught that they’re supposed to do that well and bring home the bacon. And I find with my clients, that’s, that’s what happens too. They come to me because they’re missing. I’ve a different framework, but I love this seven dimension framework, but they’re, but they’re missing pieces of it.

[13:10] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And so what are the repercussions of missing that and how do you help people understand it?

[13:16] Nicodemus Christopher: Yeah, great question. So the, the repercussions of missing that is that feeling of unfulfillment, right? You never truly feel fulfilled. The other repercussions are stagnation. You hit this wall. The unfortunate part about stagnation is if stagnation is not addressed.

[13:38] Nicodemus Christopher: Within the proper time or the proper time frame, I’ll use a economic term stagnation becomes recession. You start to go backwards. And then, if you don’t put it into that recession quick enough, then it becomes depression. So, stagnation can become recession can become depression. So, I think that those have to be dealt with immediately.

[14:02] Nicodemus Christopher: How do you deal with it? Establish order in their life. Most of these guys have never heard this word order. What is it? Right? So one of the things that I do is I help come in into their ecosystem and show them what order is and help them establish order. One of the first parts of Order is discovery, right?

[14:20] Nicodemus Christopher: Because that word order, if you look at the etymology of it, it’s so rich and so vast, it means prioritization. It means cultivation. It means sequencing, right? It means arranged idea. It reads arrangement of ideas. It means to move, to think, to speak within a revolution of time. So we take all these concepts that the etymology of order means, and we teach them how to move, right?

[14:43] Nicodemus Christopher: We teach them how to think, how to speak. Based off of the original intent and the original purpose for their life. That’s why discovery is extremely important in sports specifically. And I would say in sports and business, we focus on development first. Everybody focuses on development. Like that’s a buzzword growth and development.

[15:07] Nicodemus Christopher: But it is my belief that you cannot properly develop someone without the phase of discovery. First, we grossly miss this phase of discovery, right? Because you could be developing on top of a bad framework or a bad foundation. The best foundation for all of us is being able to answer two questions. Who am I?

[15:27] Nicodemus Christopher: And why am I here? So that’s where we start. That’s the priority, right? That’s our first priority is trying to figure out who are you and why are you here? Once we figure that out, we can create what I like to refer to as alignment in our lives. So everything else is put in its proper place based off of who am I and why am I here?

[15:50] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Do you have a process that you walk people through to like, those are big, hard, scary questions to address. I mean, it’s easier to just go to work, check my email. How do you help people with that?

[16:00] Nicodemus Christopher: It takes time. It takes a lot of time. You know, I talk about it in the book out of order, but one of the first things that we do is there’s this acronym shape.

[16:09] Nicodemus Christopher: So we look at what are some of your. Unique passions, right? That’s the P in shape. What are some of your unique passions? The E in shape or what are some of your unique experiences? What is your unique attitude? What is it about you? Whether you’re introverted or extroverted that makes, what about your attitude is to your benefit, right?

[16:31] Nicodemus Christopher: What’s your heart? What do you really desire in life? Right? So we look at all these different aspects. Another thing that we do is we look at your through line. I believe that if I can look over the course of my life, I think that there is a thread of something that is always been present, right? For me, for example, a thread that’s always been present is I don’t like lack and I don’t like need.

[16:56] Nicodemus Christopher: I’ve always been able to walk in the room and identify what’s lacking, what’s needed, what’s missing. So now it’s interesting that I’ve dedicated my life to helping other people observe that and fill those gaps, right? So that they can produce everything that they were designed and created to produce. So, yeah, there’s so many different questions that you can ask yourself.

[17:17] Nicodemus Christopher: There’s, there’s a lot that goes to that framework, but it takes time because you take even at 18 years old, right? Let’s say I get a young guy who’s 18 years old. He spent. 18 years, specifically athletes. And you take the 30 year old businessman and the 18 year old athlete or the 21 year old athlete, they’ve spent the majority of their life being told who they are.

[17:40] Nicodemus Christopher: The second everybody finds out you’re good, 10, 11 years old, everybody’s telling you who you are, everybody’s telling you. What you want to hear or what they think you want to hear. So you’ve never really taken the time to figure out who you are. That elite level businessman, everybody’s telling you what you want to hear a lot of the times, right?

[17:58] Nicodemus Christopher: And the higher you climb up that ladder, it starts. You might go to the wardens. You might go to the Yale’s. You might go to the Harvard’s like this idea in this mentality or this persona is being framed for you. And you never take the time to figure out who you are. So yeah, that discovery piece is huge.

[18:16] Jim Harshaw Jr.: This is all based on a concept that I talk about a lot, and my listeners have heard me talk about this many times over the years, but this kind of work, which is the most important work that you can do. Period. This is for anybody, for athletes, for business leaders, for anybody at any level is to hit the pause button and do this work.

[18:37] Jim Harshaw Jr.: This doesn’t happen by waking up and doing the same thing today for no better reason than that’s what I did yesterday and waking up tomorrow and doing the Same thing tomorrow for no better reason than that’s what I did today, right? That’s just going about our day and drifting through life. You have to stop work with the guy like Nicodemus or myself or one of our coaches.

[18:57] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And like somebody who, who’s an expert at this, who can ask you the right questions. You mentioned questions, right? There are a lot of questions that you use to draw this out of people. Like you don’t have to create this from thin air. You’re drawing this out of them through questions. And so the concept we use is called the productive pause and the productive pause, we define it as it’s a short period of focused reflection around specific questions that leads to clarity of action and peace of mind.

[19:25] Jim Harshaw Jr.: I mean, clarity of action, peace of mind. I mean, this is what you’re. Giving people is who are unfulfilled, who are maybe in stagnation, moving to recession, potentially moving to depression. You know, you have to do the productive pause to reverse that, find the clarity of action, find the peace of mind and find the purpose and start fulfilling, you know, these seven different dimensions.

[19:47] Nicodemus Christopher: And you know what? The thing that I love about that, the productive pause, I had to write that down. That’s a great way of thinking about it. The reason why I love questions is because of my background in science right there. I think there’s an art and a science to everything. So I try to find scientific principles.

[20:03] Nicodemus Christopher: As well that back up what I’m trying to do from an artistic standpoint or the art of how to live well and how to find peace. Right? And there’s this concept called instinctive elaboration. So basically, when you ask a question, it hijacks the brain. Right? So if you’ve ever been sitting at your desk, you’re doing something, you’re deep in thought.

[20:21] Nicodemus Christopher: Somebody walks in your room, they ask you a question. That question just took priority in your brain. And through journaling, we can do the same thing. That’s why I’m a big believer in journaling with prompts, because that question hijacks your brain. And if you take that productive pause and allow that question to really dictate where your thoughts are moving or where you’re moving, then now.

[20:46] Nicodemus Christopher: Introspection happens at a whole nother level, right? So that’s why I think questions are a great way to start. So I love the concept of productive pausing.

[20:56] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Do you have any favorite questions? Maybe they’re journaling prompts, or maybe there are other questions that you ask. Any questions that help you find breakthrough?

[21:04] Nicodemus Christopher: Those first two, those are necessities. It’s like, who are you? Why are you here? Uh, I often ask myself, how did I get here? That’s a huge one. How did I get here? Right. Are there, and in asking, how did I get here? One of the things that I ask is, do I have principles that govern my life? Because chances are, I mean, the result of my life is the result of my decisions.

[21:28] Nicodemus Christopher: Any decision that I’ve made is the reason why I am where I am, or why I am where I am, or why I am who I am. So I think that you have to look at the principles that govern your life.

[21:40] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And you might not even know what they are. They’re, they’re back there governing your life though.

[21:44] Nicodemus Christopher: And you might not even have any even worse.

[21:47] Nicodemus Christopher: Right? So when I ask myself, how did I get here? I always ask myself, what are my principles, right? What are the principles that govern my life? And then because I know the principles that govern my life, I asked myself, have I violated one of those principles? Right? And there’s there’s a million ways to teach that there’s a story that comes top of my mind.

[22:07] Nicodemus Christopher: I have a three and a half year old. Okay. And he just started playing soccer probably about a month ago. Is he on track for professional? He’s really good, right? And I hate to be that dad. He’s really good. But three weeks ago, he had a hat trick. He scored three goals. The team won three to two. The next game, they got beat 6 0.

[22:27] Nicodemus Christopher: And he stops in the middle of the game. They’re down five, zero that he stops in the middle of the game and he is hyperventilating crying. Right? So then he comes over to the bench and I just say, son, use your words. What’s wrong? He said, dad, dad, they keep scoring and I haven’t scored. So later in the, later on in the day we get in the car and we go home.

[22:47] Nicodemus Christopher: And this is my advice. I said, I want you to do three things. Whenever you feel like you’re about to be emotional like that, right? I want you to a stop and take a deep breath. Right? So that productive pause, just stop. Just stop everything, stop and take a deep breath. Number two, I want you to go give a teammate a high five, right?

[23:05] Nicodemus Christopher: Gratitude, happiness, joy. And the third thing that I want you to do is stop and think period, stop and think, right? So there are ways, even my three and a half year old, I’m taking these principles and I’m finding ways to break them down to him. But the principle of stopping and thinking, right? Giving yourself time to breathe, giving yourself time.

[23:26] Nicodemus Christopher: It’s, it’s invaluable.

[23:27] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Yeah. And we’ve all heard, I mean, this is fundamental stuff and you’re teaching it to your three and a half year old, but like how, how many in the listener I’m talking to you, like, do you do it? Do you stop and think, do you stop and pause, take the deep breath, have gratitude, go encourage somebody else, you know, go give somebody a pat on the back.

[23:46] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And this is the stuff that helps you be in the moment, overcome the challenge, find peace among the chaos. And I think this is probably a good time to, to jump into the word peace. Nicodemus. You studied the word peace for a year, a year. Why? And tell us about that.

[24:06] Nicodemus Christopher: Yeah. So in working with highly what we would define as highly successful, professional athletes, businessmen, businesswomen, CEOs, founders, all of the above, you see that they have achieved externally what some people would define as success, but internally.

[24:25] Nicodemus Christopher: They’re unfulfilled, very, they lack peace and that bothered me. I want it to know why in order to know why I have to know what it is first. So I challenged myself every day for a year. I’m going to study peace, right? Because I felt like that was a way that I can add value to others lives. So it ended up going well over a year, but every day I studied peace.

[24:49] Nicodemus Christopher: And, uh, that’s another, I’m, I’m a huge, for lack of other words, geek or buff when it comes to studying the etymology of words and really, really getting a rich understanding of what they mean. And that word peace is also where we get the word wellness from, right? It also means whole. It means complete. It means covenant or secure relationships.

[25:10] Nicodemus Christopher: It means calm. It means tranquility. It means to prosper, which means to move forward. And there’s so many things that Things that this word peace means that makes sense, right? So when, that’s why kind of where I came up with those seven dimensions, because when I can move forward and all seven of those areas and become whole or really grow and develop the complete person, then that’s when you start to see peace.

[25:35] Nicodemus Christopher: But the most important discovery during my time of understanding peace, two words, I found out that order and wisdom. Our prerequisites to peace. There’s a proverb that says wisdom’s paths are peace. So we know that when you have wisdom, that path of wisdom leads to peace. And then as you continue to study, I’ve found that over and over and over establishing order.

[26:00] Nicodemus Christopher: Which is, we, we talked about what order means, arrangement of ideas, proper sequence, prioritization, all these things, order leads to peace. So that’s why I am, if you were to ask me to describe in two words, what I do every day for elite level athletes or businessmen, businesswoman, CEO, establish order, right?

[26:23] Nicodemus Christopher: Because I think that that’s the beginning of the journey to peace and then you can move forward from there.

[26:28] Jim Harshaw Jr.: So if you’re. Having on a call, having a session with a client. What does that look like for you? I mean, creating order. Is that, I mean, what is it? Is it sorting out challenges that they’re dealing with?

[26:41] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Is it writing down what they need to be working on? What does that look like?

[26:46] Nicodemus Christopher: This is one of the first things we’ll do. And it goes back to a question that you asked. What are some exercises you can do? We’ll write down all seven dimensions, right? Spiritual, physical, financial, all of them. And I want you to rank.

[26:58] Nicodemus Christopher: From one to 10, where you are in every area. And usually you’re going to see right. 10 being I’m great. One being ouch, right? You’re going to see where we need to start first. And a mistake that I made early on in my career, I thought that I had to be the one to fix all those issues, but now I’m at a point because of the network.

[27:23] Nicodemus Christopher: I might not be able to fix that issue, but I know somebody who can. So let’s say for the young athletes, if you’re struggling financially, you’ve never been taught financial literacy, you’ve been abused financially, you’ve been exploited and taken advantage of financially. If we realize that, then. There are some really, really, really, really good price.

[27:45] Nicodemus Christopher: Well, a private wealth management firms that I have relationships with that we’re going to put you in contact with, and we’re going to allow them to start managing your finances. If it’s something psychological, if it’s something physical, obviously, I spent over a decade dealing with that physiological piece.

[28:00] Nicodemus Christopher: So it’s figuring out where you are, what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses? And let’s really attack those weaknesses. Let’s figure out what was the origin of them. How did it come about? How can we improve them? Right. And we’re working together. Uh, we’re partnering together to improve in each of those areas.

[28:19] Jim Harshaw Jr.: For the listener, this is work that you’ve got to do. And you’re on the inside of the jar, trying to read the label. It’s hard for you to do this on your own. This is why Nicodemus and I have jobs and clients that we get to work with. You know, like, it’s just hard to do this on your own the same way. It’s hard to do therapy on your own.

[28:38] Nicodemus Christopher: I love the way that you put it, like on the inside out. You can’t read the label in the jar the way that I put it. We all have blind spots in life. Like pride doesn’t want us to admit that, but I’m sure you both you and I, I know I do for sure. I’m sure you do. I have someone that’s coaching me, right?

[28:55] Nicodemus Christopher: Because I have blind spots in my life that I just can’t not see. So I need someone who can hold me accountable, who can be transparent and authentic and help me grow, right? Because that word peace prospered to move forward. I want to continue to move forward in every area of my life. So having someone in your life, that’s why I admire the work that you’re doing, Jim, having someone in your life that can see what you can’t see.

[29:19] Nicodemus Christopher: Can’t see help you process that help you come up with solutions to it. It’s invaluable. That’s what that’s your finding piece.

[29:27] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Yeah. So many people think that number one, I shouldn’t need that. I should be able to do this on my own. What’s wrong with me. If I need to hire a coach or a therapist or, you know, there’s other people on the team too, like a financial advisor, like you think you need to be able to do it on your own?

[29:41] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Like, no, you don’t.

[29:42] Nicodemus Christopher: Here you go. I’m going to add science to it, right? And quantum physics, it’s called the law of observation. I think it’s also known as the Q. Z. E. quantum Xenon effect. And they say that observation prevents decay from a particle going from state a to state B. Observation alone. So if you have a particle, if you want to prevent it from going from state A to state B, state B being a state of decay or a lesser state observation can prevent that just observing it.

[30:14] Nicodemus Christopher: Right. Just observing. Right. So that’s where that’s a quantum physics thing.

[30:17] Jim Harshaw Jr.: I’ve read that before too. It’s mind blowing.

[30:19] Nicodemus Christopher: Right. So that’s like we’re having a coach. Observation. Journaling, one of the only exercises where you can actually see what’s going on in your mind. Observation. Prevents decay. It’s necessary.

[30:34] Nicodemus Christopher: It’s absolutely necessary.

[30:35] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Here’s another one that I read recently. I’m surprised that I just recently found this too, but there’s something called the Hawthorne effect, and it is simply this idea that observing behavior, Changes behavior, like just observation, tracking, you know, writing down goals, writing down action items, having a conversation with a coach or a therapist, simply having that conversation, simply observing, talking about bringing it to a level of awareness where it’s conscious as opposed to in the background.

[31:07] Jim Harshaw Jr.: That alone changes behavior. So working with a coach, journaling, like I want to hear more Nicodemus about journaling because I journal infrequently. I do it. I have a daily sort of very, very short, minimalist journaling habit that I do a few days a week, pretty consistently. And it’s really, really helpful.

[31:27] Jim Harshaw Jr.: I do it three, four, some days, sometimes five days a week. Incredibly, incredibly helpful. Doesn’t take very long. Works for me. But I struggle a lot to do it consistently and to go deeper on my journaling consistently. And a lot of my clients, I mean, it’s one of those things where like, I know I need to eat, right?

[31:45] Jim Harshaw Jr.: I know I need to work out. I need, I know I need to sleep. I know like all these things, like journaling is kind of one of those things that we, we all know, at least the people like us who are like into personal development and sort of maximizing our potential. We know journaling is a good thing, but so many people struggle to do it and to get started with it.

[32:02] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Why? And what advice do you have for us?

[32:06] Nicodemus Christopher: So I’m gonna, I’m gonna say this, right? Just based off of what you were just describing, I want you to think of your brain or your mind as having this fixed capacity. And there, there’s the conscious and there’s the unconscious, unconscious, right? So there’s one piece of Of, okay, well, I’m dealing with these things that I’m consciously aware of the daily pressures of life.

[32:30] Nicodemus Christopher: But there’s this other thing that we call unconscious repressed emotions. Right? So there are things that happen to us on a daily basis that we just put in the back of our mind. That’s our unconscious. We just put in the back of our back of our mind. There are traumatic experiences that happened to us as adults, as children, things of nature, like life happens.

[32:50] Nicodemus Christopher: And a lot of the times, if you don’t process it. It goes in the back of your mind. Well, there’s this reservoir and this limited capacity that when it fills up, it overflows, right? And it might overflow in the presence of our Children as anger, right? It might overflow. In the presence of the world, if you’re a professional athlete as well, this athlete, why do they keep getting into fights with all the, with, with the whole NBA?

[33:18] Nicodemus Christopher: Why do they keep appearing before judges? Why do they keep having to go to court? Why are they doing this? A lot of the times we’ve never dealt with those unconscious repressed emotions.

[33:29] Jim Harshaw Jr.: And, and by the way, just, if I can interrupt for just a sec, because it might appear as those things, which are very obvious, But it also might simply appear as Why am I not getting the promotion?

[33:40] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Or it might appear as, Why do I keep hitting the snooze button when I know I want to wake up early and work out? So,

[33:47] Nicodemus Christopher: and we know from the work of, uh, Dr Carolyn, Dr Carolyn leaf, and even Dr Sarno, it can also appear as physical ailment. Right? Some of those elements that result from a high amount of inflammation, because you’re never, you’re always in that sympathetic state.

[34:04] Nicodemus Christopher: You’re always in that fight or flight. You never come back into that parasympathetic rest and relax and digest. So one of the things that journaling helps you do is it helps you to. Empty that reservoir, right? So now you’re no longer at capacity. I put it on paper. That alone is a huge step. Getting it out of your unconscious where that reservoir is, is overflowing and it’s showing up as physical element or emotional responses or procrastination, as you mentioned, or whatever it might be.

[34:33] Nicodemus Christopher: The other part about it is now I get to see Exactly what’s going on. And I get to be introspective and I’m huge on self evaluation. Like, what are the things that have actually been holding me back in life? I get to see it now, whether I knew it before or didn’t know it. And now I get to process it. The other thing that I like about journaling, I’ll use another finance term.

[34:56] Nicodemus Christopher: It’s checks and balances. If you check your bank statement, because you want to know what’s in the bank, you want to know what’s coming in, what’s going out journaling, is that for your mind, what’s going in, what’s coming out, what’s being deposited on a regular basis, like where, where my biggest expenditure is going towards.

[35:15] Nicodemus Christopher: So I just think that it’s, uh, I mean, accountability, self accountability, self evaluation, it’s huge. It’s huge. It’s huge.

[35:22] Jim Harshaw Jr.: It’s one of the easiest productive pauses. That you can do. So,

[35:25] Nicodemus Christopher: I mean, it’s a part of, I’m a big believer in having non negotiables, right? And that’s a non negotiable for me. It’s one of those things.

[35:32] Nicodemus Christopher: Do you journal

[35:33] Jim Harshaw Jr.: every day?

[35:33] Nicodemus Christopher: Yes.

[35:34] Jim Harshaw Jr.: I have to. Like your buddy, Josh, you’re a mutual friend now, Josh Bonnetall. He works out every day. It’s a non negotiable for him. Yeah. Josh is a,

[35:43] Nicodemus Christopher: that’s a mad man, but even, I mean, and it takes different forms, right? It’s a, some days it’s just a gratitude journaling. So I will take five minutes and make a list of everything I’m thankful for.

[35:53] Nicodemus Christopher: And that’s it. Right. Yeah, yeah.

[35:56] Jim Harshaw Jr.: For the listener who wants to take action on what you shared here, Nicodemus, what’s one action item that they can do in the next 24 to 48 hours to start taking action on this?

[36:06] Nicodemus Christopher: I’d say take out a pen, take out a piece of paper and answer the question, who am I? Or at least start the process just right at the top of the paper.

[36:15] Nicodemus Christopher: Who am I? And start to write down and start to list all of the things that you feel define or make you who you are. And process that. Think about it. You

[36:25] Jim Harshaw Jr.: don’t have

[36:25] Nicodemus Christopher: to

[36:25] Jim Harshaw Jr.: come up with the answer that morning, that day, that afternoon.

[36:28] Nicodemus Christopher: You probably won’t come up with the answer that day or that. But you’re starting something that’s extremely transformative.

[36:36] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Nicodemus, for people who want to find you, follow you, buy your book, etc.

[36:41] Nicodemus Christopher: Yeah. So I’m on a LinkedIn, Nicodemus, Christopher, Instagram, sir. Lift a lot from my days where I used to lift a lot. And then you can find me on either of those platforms. The book is sold exclusively on Amazon. It’s out of order, unleashing the power of journaling to draw you out of chaos and into fulfillment.

[37:01] Nicodemus Christopher: You can find that on Amazon. And then I will also give you my email address. My email address is living habitually. at gmail. com L I V I N G H A B I T U W E L L L Y habitually. And we could talk about that a whole nother day. There’s a meaning to that. We’ll put that in the action plan for the listeners.

[37:24] Nicodemus Christopher: Exactly. Living habitually at gmail. com. Excellent.

[37:29] Jim Harshaw Jr.: Nicodemus, thank you so much for dropping wisdom on us today. Appreciate you.

[37:33] Nicodemus Christopher: Thank you so much. I appreciate you having

[37:35] me.

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