Funny Explanation of Wrestling Rules

Seneca Valley High School Wrestling parent Tom Cully puts together an informative and often funny event program for matches.  Here’s an excerpt from the most recent one.
“Rules

We want to thank the students who have come tonight to cheer on the team.  As this may be your first wrestling match, we will go over the basic rules.  If you know the team by heart and even know how much weight they cut for tonight, skip ahead to page six.  The rules of wrestling are basic as the sport was invented by caveman who were either fighting over a mate, fighting for a better cut of brontosaurus meat, wanted to take someone’s cave due to better writing inside or fought to be in the next Gieco commercial. Each match begins with both wrestlers standing in what is called the neutral position. They then shake hands before they then try to physically and mentally break the opponent.  There are three periods to a match; each period is two minutes in length.  The object of the match is to take your opponents shoulders or lower part of the shoulders called the scapula to the mat for two seconds.  As one is not permitted to bring blunt instruments on to the mat, this goal at times is difficult to achieve.  If one gets a pin (also called a fall), the match ends.”

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