[00:00] Do you ever get frustrated when you hear a successful person contradict what some other really successful person said? Like, who do you believe? It often just adds to the confusion and the uncertainty and how to get from where you’re at to where you want to go. Today, I’m gonna reveal to you a new way of thinking so that you can have the clarity of action in the peace of mind that you’re looking for.

[00:24] Welcome to another episode of Success Through Failure, the show for successful people and for those who want to become successful. Success through Failure is the only podcast that reveals the true nature of success. Through conversations with Navy Seals, New York Times bestselling authors, world-renowned speakers, Olympic gold medalists, and other world-class performers, while also sharing my own lessons of success through failure from my athletic career,

[00:51] And my personal life. This is your host, Jim Harshaw, Jr. and today I’m bringing you a solo episode. We’re talking about the conflicting advice that you hear from the experts and from the gurus out there. Instead of, you know, more confusion and uncertainty, I’m going to bring you clarity, clarity of action, peace of mind, so you can shorten the path to getting from where you’re at to where you wanna.

[01:14] If you like what you’re hearing on the Success Through Failure podcast, the best way to help me grow the audience so that I can get even better guests on and continue to grow this thing and share with more people. And the best way for you to let me know that you’re enjoying this is by giving this a share on social media.

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[01:50] So thank you in advance for your support. So let’s get into this contradictory, this conflicting advice and the messages that I’m talking about. You see it a lot on social media, you know, on Instagram. Every day you see all these quotes and proverbs and things like that posted. And let me give you some examples of a.

[02:09] They contradict each other. So kind of get to the heart of what I’m talking about here. And actually I’m gonna share in a few minutes some really specific things that are said by some really big names. People that we all know and like to follow and hear their advice. But I wanna share some contradictions there and then how to sort of work through this in a different way to think and approach this stuff.

[02:29] So here’s one that you’ve definitely heard before. Ready? It says, If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Right. Great. Keep trying, you know, that’s success through failure. Right. Then how do you reconcile that with the other contradictory proverb or, or quote that we’ve heard, which is the definition of stupidity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result,

[02:54] Right. How do you, how do you reconcile those two? Here’s another one. Strike while the iron’s hot. Yeah, that’s great. Take action. Go now. Don’t wait. Well then what about the quote, only fools rush in or look before you leap or haste makes waste, right? These are contradictory. Here’s another one. Birds of a feather flock together.

[03:14] Sure, that makes sense. But wait a second. I thought opposites attract. Which one is it? You know, another one is it’s better to be safe than sorry. But on the other hand, nothing ventured, nothing gained. All these contradictions. But the contradictions go beyond just these quotes and these proverbs that we hear and see and often say all the time, like you’ve probably heard how effective a plant-based diet is, and then you learn about the carnivore diet, the exact opposite.

[03:45] right? There’s all kinds of evidence that the carnivore diet is extremely effective. It sounds disgusting to me like only eating meat, like no fruit, no vegetables. But which one’s? Right? Or maybe you hear about how, you know running is the most effective way to build cardiovascular fitness in long-term health.

[04:03] And then you hear some guru espousing research that running is terrible for you and bad for your joints, and you should be doing high-intensity interval training instead. Or maybe yoga or Pilates. Like what do you believe? And it goes even beyond this. Quick interruption. If you like what you’re hearing here and you want to learn how you can implement this into your life, just go to JimHarshawJr.com/apply to see how you can get a free one-on-one coaching session with me.

[04:32] That’s JimHarshawJr.com/apply. Now, back to the show. I was listening to a speech the other day by Arnold Schwartzenegger, and he was talking about how he worked so hard and how he trained so hard and everything that he did. Really, he was talking about bodybuilding at this point, but he said he trained so hard, but he always did it with a smile on his face.

[04:55] Always did it with a smile on his face. Like he enjoyed it. He enjoyed every moment of it. Well, what about Muhammad Ali? You know, arguably one of the greatest of all time at what he. He said that he hated every minute of training. He said that he said he hated every minute of training. It’s actually funny because in that Schwarzenegger video, he actually references Muhammad Ali in his speech about something totally different.

[05:21] But you have these, these two individuals who are among the greatest of all time at what they did. They were world-class performers. So which one is it? Is training or is it horrible? The worst thing ever. If you don’t train and have a smile on your face, if it actually sucks for you and you can’t smile, does that mean you don’t have the passion for it?

[05:40] So you can’t be successful? Of course not. No. You know Muhammad Ali Ali, he hated every minute of training, he said. But he also enjoyed the growth, the chasing of the big goals. And on the other hand, Arnold Schwarzenegger, I guarantee you he hated parts of his training. There were hard days. It wasn’t. So we can’t assume that, that you have this, this guy who you know is the best in the world at what he did as a bodybuilder.

[06:07] Then he goes on to become one of the biggest stars of Hollywood. Then he becomes the governor of California, the governator. So he’s one of the best in the world at what he does in three different areas. And well, listen, I’m not going to go into politics here, and maybe you think he was the worst politician in the world.

[06:24] I don’t know, but I’m, what I’m saying is he reached the pinnacle in three different areas. So we tend to listen to people like this. Who’ve created success and we go, gosh, you know, I’m not always smiling when I’m doing the hard things and the hard work, so maybe, maybe, maybe I’m on the wrong track.

[06:40] Maybe I just don’t have the passion for it. Maybe I’m doing it wrong, all of that. Right? So there’s this contradictory message that we get. And then you hear in terms of goal setting, Latham and Locke, if you’ve ever heard of Latham and Locke, these guys are like the godfathers of research around goal setting.

[06:57] They talk about having clear goals and how important it is to have clear goals and setting these big goals and how setting. Clear goals that are big goals. Stretch goals are proven to be more effective than sort of setting smaller goals or not, certainly not having any goals at all. And we see someone like Elon Musk, as controversial as he is these days, he’s obviously set very clear and seemingly absurd goals like colonizing Mars.

[07:26] And we go, okay, yeah, obviously you have to have that huge vision and see it well in advance in order to manifest it and to make it come. And then on the other hand, you have Jeff Bezos. He didn’t envision Amazon the way it is today. The original vision for Amazon was to create a store where people could buy absolutely any book online.

[07:47] Imagine if that was the vision, and he stopped there. He really didn’t envision all of this, like he began walking down the path and growing Amazon and developing it and adding new products and step by step it became what it is today and who knows what it’s gonna be tomorrow. The original vision was different than what it is today, but we know there’s an overwhelming amount of evidence that we have to have the clear goals and to in order to produce the results.

[08:14] But Jeff Bezos didn’t have the clear vision of what Amazon is today. , Elon Musk did have the clear vision of what some of his companies are going to be and have even become today. So what about you? Like, what do you do with this? I’m gonna give you four tactics, four ways to approach this contradiction, all these contradictions that we get, especially if we’re, you know, reading a lot of materials, reading a lot of books, and hearing.

[08:43] Different messages from different experts. How do we sort through this and really use this for ourselves so that we can have the clarity of action, have the peace of mind that we so desperately want, despite the confusion and the uncertainty and the contradiction that you might hear. Okay, so I’m gonna give you four things.

[08:59] Number one, I’m gonna refer you back to episode number 381, just a few episodes back. Titled, the Solution for Information Overload, five Timeless and Essential Success Principles, right? So I really boil things down in that episode to help you simplify a lot of these messages that you’re getting out there of, you know, the new bells and whistles and the new shiny object and gadgets that you should be buying.

[09:24] And then new app and the new, you know, workout because all the other workouts are bad. Should never be done again. And there’s this new workout that’s gonna make you, you know, smarter and more attractive, all of that, right? So it helps you sort through all of that. If you haven’t listened to that episode, you should, because it will help bring you that clarity and that certainty that you’re looking for in your life and in your journey.

[09:45] So that’s number one. But how else can you find the clarity of action, that peace of mind that you want? Number two is, You can see that all of these quotes in Proverbs and lessons are relevant in different situations. You know that you must strike while the iron is hot for some things, but also balance that with not rushing in without looking.

[10:12] We can understand that we can have a grand vision like Elon Musk, but also like Jeff Bezos in Amazon. We can say, Hey, I’ve got this grand vision, but it may evolve into something totally different than what I’m thinking it is today. There’s a balance there. You know, Jocko Willink’s book, “Dichotomy of Leadership,” is really great because, It talks about this balance that’s necessary in leadership, how to balance contradictory concepts in leadership.

[10:43] There’s this balance between taking ownership of everything ourselves, but making sure other people were taking ownership, also, empowering them to take ownership. Another concept in that book was nurturing your people. But at the same time, letting them go. There’s a dichotomy there. There’s a contradiction there, but there’s a balance you have to strike between the two.

[11:06] And it’s the same with this other conflicting advice that we often get. Right. You know, Arnold Schwartzenegger, was he truly smiling the whole time? No, of course not. There was pain and suffering. Did Muhammad Ali really hate every minute of training? Probably not. He knew it was. It was inspired action for him.

[11:28] And by the way, I do, uh, make a distinction between hard work and inspired action back in episode 155. That’s way back in the archives, but I really go deep into this concept of, of inspired action. Right? It’s not fair to call hard work by somebody like Muhammad Ali or Arnold Schwartzenegger. I look back at my own life in terms of my business, waking up early when I had a full-time job and really growing this be like working hard.

[11:55] Yeah, it was it hard work. Of course it was hard work was when I was wrestling and you know, losing 22 pounds in two and a half days to make weight like. Was that hard work? Of course it was hard work, but it was really, it was inspired action. It wasn’t the same as just going out and doing really hard things.

[12:10] It was doing hard things with the purpose and with the reason, because there’s a vision for your life. So there’s this dichotomy, right, that we have to find the balance in. And I wish there were a semblance of this, the understanding of this dicho. Between two, you know, valid points when it comes to politics, but unfortunately it’s not, you know, uh, there’s this, it’s like, it’s binary.

[12:32] It’s black and white. Right or wrong. My side’s right, your side’s wrong. But it’s off. It’s not the case. Right? You know, when, when we look at Covid, you know, one side feels that their freedom is being taken from them. And the other side says that the other side’s being irresponsible for not taking the vaccine.

[12:49] the challenge is it’s not really about freedom or lack of. And it’s not about being responsible or irresponsible, it’s about freedom versus responsibility. And that’s where we get stuck in the binary and the absolutes and the Republicans versus Democrats and conservatives versus liberals. And there’s, there’s valid points on both sides.

[13:10] If you don’t see that, you’re not looking for the truth in between, both are valid. There’s validity to both sides. But we choose to look at right or wrong, right, and believe that one’s right and the other’s wrong. And there’s just a lack of understanding there though. And you know, especially if you solely listen to Fox News or solely listen to c n N, you know, if you’re listening to these extreme news media outlets and you believe everything you’re hearing on those, you’re not getting the truth.

[13:38] You’re not thinking for yourself. And this may not be popular with a lot of people listening, but that’s the truth. There’s the truth is somewhere in. You know, if we got rid of the partisan media, that’s, that’s blinding all of us from, not all of us, so many of us from common sense, we’d see that there’s a whole lot more common ground.

[13:55] Between people in America and everywhere else. All right, so I’m gonna get off my soapbox there, but how else do we find the clarity of action and the peace of mind that we’re looking for here? Here’s number three. All right. Number one was, uh, just referring you back to episode 3 81, kind of looking at that, that solution for information, or five solutions for information overload.

[14:16] Uh, number two is seeing that all of these pieces of advice are actually different. These conflicting pieces of advice are actually relevant in. Scenarios in different situations and finding the balance between those two. Here’s number three. Create belief that success is for you. Here’s why I say that.

[14:35] When you do that, when you develop this belief, it almost doesn’t matter what advice that you take. If you have belief, then things are gonna start happening for you. Now, here’s the catch. I used to get annoyed when people would say, yeah, you gotta believe. You just have to have belief. Like I remember growing up hearing that.

[14:53] But it was like telling you that you had to do something but not how to do it. But here’s how I’m gonna tell you how, like how do you create belief? Is it like, do you click your heels three times? Is it a, is it a button? You gotta go press somewhere. Uh, is it a a supplement that you take? No. It’s none of those things.

[15:09] Here’s how you create belief. Here’s a, a quick primer. Three things that you can do to create belief. Number one, you’ve heard this before, visualize, are you actually doing. Visualize. If you haven’t listened to my episode with Jack Canfield, go back and listen to episode 307. Fantastic interview Jack Canfield.

[15:29] He’s the guy behind all the chicken soup for the Soul books and, uh, success principles. I mean, he’s kind of one of the, one of the gurus, one of the big names in the personal development industry and really interesting interview, and he talks about visualization and how he does this every day. He has a, a process for this.

[15:44] So again, episode 3 0 7, you’ve gotta visual. And when you visualize, you are creating the feeling now that you have found the success, it changes who you are and people are like, ah, visualization. What, how does that work? How do you know? You maybe understand how it works in athletics, but how does it work in the, in the real world, when you create the belief, the types of things that you do change just a little.

[16:10] Right. You might still have the same conversation, but you’re gonna have a different level of confidence. Your body language is gonna be different. The tone of voice that you use is gonna be different. Uh, the way you look at obstacles and opportunities, that’s gonna change when you visualize and create that belief.

[16:24] Now that you have that success, now that you are that person now, then. Good things start happening again. At that point, it almost doesn’t matter if you’re hearing conflicting advice in conflicting messages because you have a belief that success is for you and you can choose one path or another and you’re gonna find success.

[16:45] So that’s number one. Number two, in terms of how to create that belief is change your language. Stop saying that I can’t. I won’t. I’m not good at, I’m not able to. I don’t have this. I’m lacking that. Stop saying those. Change it. Change the language. You wanna change your attitude. People talk about changing your attitude.

[17:01] It’s all about attitude, all that. What do you do to change your attitude? What do you do to create belief? Change your language even if you don’t believe it. And I’ve said this on the podcast before, but I used to hate running and I thought I was no good at running. And I signed myself up for a half marathon and started changing my language to, instead of saying, I hate running, I didn’t lie and say, I love running.

[17:25] I said, I’m starting to enjoy. and I found myself starting to enjoying my runs, and I started saying instead of, uh, I’m no good at running. I’m terrible at running. I started saying, I’m getting better at running. And I was, I was getting better at running. Guess what? I, I started doing it more and I was getting better at it.

[17:43] And this was like this self-fulfilling prophecy. You know, since then, I’ve run a half marathon, I’ve run a marathon, did a half marathon, Spartan race, and I run every week now at least six to eight miles at a clip. It’s changed me because my language changed, right? That’s number two and number three here again, under, under this third point of creating belief, because when you create belief, it almost doesn’t matter what advice you take.

[18:06] Here’s the third point I wanted to make, creating a success log. Write down the reasons you have to believe in yourself. Write down, and maybe it’s the degrees that you have or the experience or the education or the lack of experience because it makes you hungry. Whatever it is, you know, compliments that you’ve received before, awards that you’ve received, ways that you’ve found to internally validate yourself.

[18:30] Write these things. And review it regularly, like read it because we have the negative voice going on in our head. The imposter syndrome voice, the voice of doubt, the negativity bias that’s wired inside of all of us. You’ve got to defeat that by writing out the reasons that you have to believe in yourself, reviewing it regularly, and even recording.

[18:52] I was just talking to a Pathfinder, one of one of our clients this morning about this idea of the success log and recording this and listening. All right, so that was the third point that I wanted to make under belief, creating that belief. And then the fourth and final point is this. Take the shortcut.

[19:10] Take the shortcut. What do I mean by that? I mean, pick a plan and go with it. Pick a freaking plan and go with it. Make a commitment. Ruben Gonzalez wrote a book titled The Shortcut. Ruben is a good friend of mine, four-time Olympian in the luge. He’s been on the podcast before, as a matter of fact. He’s going to be on the podcast here just sometime next month, so check out if you’re listening to this in the future.

[19:33] You should already have access to it. If you’re listening to Ray when I publish this, keep an eye out in January of 2023 for my interview with Ruben about the shortcut, and it’s his shortcut of how he became an oly. And how he applies this to his business life and how you can apply this. It’s, he goes much more deeply into this.

[19:53] The shortcut is essentially making a commitment, like pick a plan and go with it. And when you create the belief, what I talked about, number three, it almost doesn’t matter what that plan is. Create the belief, take action, get a coach, find a program, find a system. And for a lot of my clients, the system is our system.

[20:13] It’s reveal your path. We have a system. It’s proven, it works. People have stuck around for, for years and years in our program because they know the type of results that they’re getting. It helps them find that clarity of action. It helps them have that peace of mind in their life. So turn off the noise, pick a plan and execute.

[20:33] All right, and I actually, I referenced in, uh, episode 3 81, this, this great quote by Marcus Aurelius. Stop debating what a good man is and be one for you. Stop debating what a good plan. And pick one and take action. All right. I just threw a lot at you. Take action on this. Give this a share. Again, if you see it on social media, give it a share, give it a comment, give it a like, thank you in advance for your support.

[21:00] Don’t just listen to this episode. Take action. Good luck. Thanks for listening. If you want to apply these principles into your life, let’s talk. You can see the limited spaces that are open on my calendar. JimHarshawJr.com/apply where you can sign up for a free one-time coaching call directly with me.

[21:21] And don’t forget to grab your action plan. Just go to JimHarshawJr.com/action. And lastly, iTunes tends to suggest podcasts with more ratings and reviews more often. You would totally make my day if you give me a rating and review. Those go a long way in helping me grow the podcast. Just open up your podcast app.

[21:42] If you have an iPhone, do a search for success through failure, select it, and then scroll the whole way to the bottom where you can leave the podcast, a rating and a review. Now, I hope this isn’t just another podcast episode for you. I hope you take action on what you learned here today. Good luck and thanks for listening.

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