[00:00] I didn’t wanna lose this. I wanted to hold onto the feeling because that feeling I knew would go away. And whenever I wanted to go out and party or whatever, I wanted to skip a workout or sleep in or slack off, or not watch film or whatever it was, it was gonna take me off my path. I had that right there next to me telling me, Jim, don’t do it, man.

[00:23] Remember the pain. Remember, you’re not ever going to want to be sitting in the stands again like that. Welcome to another episode of Success for the Athletic Minded Man, real talk on hardest ing your athletic drive for clarity, consistency, and focus in business and life. This is your host, Jim Harshaw, Jr.

[00:42] And today I’m bringing you a solo episode. We’re talking about 13 lessons. 13 takeaways from a weekend that changed everything when we were at the Pathfinder retreat. Pathfinders are my clients. Uh, and the program reveal your path. And we had our annual retreat just a few weeks before recording this, and there were so many amazing takeaways.

[01:03] I boiled them down to 13. 13 ones that you can actually use, that you can actually do something with, that you can implement into your life. These are, you know, I’m pulling back the curtain, uh, I’m sharing. With you, the benefits, the takeaways. I wanted you to experience what they experience at some small level, at least get some of these takeaways.

[01:20] And this is a group of entrepreneurs and leaders and husbands and fathers. And it was fascinating because, you know, you get into a place like this retreat and, and they drop their titles, they step away from the chaos and they just. Get real. And these guys came together to, to sharpen their edge, me included, to sharpen our edge professionally.

[01:40] But interestingly what happened had less to do with tactics, although we shared and discussed and guys gave away their best tactics. So much of the benefit came from being vulnerable. Resetting and really focusing on actually what matters in your life and what matters when it comes to success. So I’m gonna break down the unexpected takeaways from their treat with you today.

[02:08] Everything from why low hanging fruit tastes just as good to what one guy called Good Dude V. And why that weird phrase may just hold a secret to your next breakthrough. So if you’ve ever felt stuck or you just feel like you’re pulled in too many different directions, or you feel like you’re succeeding on the outside, but maybe drifting on the inside, this episode is for you.

[02:29] And at the end, I’m gonna share with you the same story that I shared with my clients at the retreat. And it’s a story and it in, in an exact strategy that I used when I was sitting in the stands in tears after losing at the NCAA championships. And I shared this with these guys at the retreat, and I’m gonna share this with you and, and what you can do with that.

[02:52] Alright, here we go. So, 13 takeaways here. Number one is the power of vulnerability. What made this really special, I alluded to this just a second ago, was really that these guys were so open, right? They, they let down the walls. They shared their struggles and their challenges, like how often do you get to do that?

[03:07] As a matter of fact, one of the guys said, we spend a lot of time in our lives on Guard. This was an opportunity to not be, and it’s pretty cool ’cause I opened the retreat by saying, Hey listen, there are 22 amazing people in this room. All of you are successful. Nobody has anything to prove to one another.

[03:27] Let’s be vulnerable. Let’s open up here because listen, you, you don’t have to prove to anybody. You’re amazing. You wouldn’t be in the room if you’re not. And that really set things off well. So really opening up and, and using the power of just being truthful and honest and vulnerable. And that’s where the real breakthroughs came through.

[03:44] And that’s when guys could share and say, Hey, have you tried this? Here’s what I’m doing. Or Here’s this book I’ve read, or this podcast episode you might like, or I. This habit that I do or how I get that habit done that you say you’ve been wanting to do. That’s where the real breakthroughs came from, is from opening up and actually sharing the truth about the challenges they’re facing.

[04:04] Right? These guys are very successful. It’s about the challenges, how we can get better. Alright. That’s number one out of 13. Number two, transforming, knowing to doing the biggest breakthroughs weren’t about new information. Sure, new information was shared. That was fantastic. The new information was, was really great, but it was really just the, the reinforcing of what we already knew, but actually how to do it.

[04:30] I mean, that is the crux. I mean, really that’s the crux of coaching is there are habits and tactics and strategies that, you know, you’ve read in the books, right? It’s not, and you’ve read the books, you’ve listened to the podcast episodes, watched the YouTube videos, on and on. You, you have the information.

[04:46] Information really isn’t what moves the needle. It’s about how do you actually put this to use this information to use in a way that works for you? Because none of us really need more information. The information’s out there. What we need is to be able to take action. And so that’s what was really shared there.

[05:04] How to take action, how to go about executing on your plan. Like it’s about getting very clear on your why. Getting clear on the goal that aligns with that why, and then putting the things in place to help you execute. And you know what those are like. Think about your life right now. Where are the areas where you’re successful in, in executing well, right?

[05:26] Maybe you’re crushing it in your business, but not in your workouts or vice versa. Who knows? What are the things that are in place in your business? Maybe what’s the why behind that? Uh, what are the habits and systems and routines? Who are the people you’re surrounded by? Uh, what are the deadlines that you have to hit?

[05:42] We’ll put those in place. In your health or vice versa, and, and you will see yourself start to execute at a higher level. Right? So that’s number two is from knowing to doing, right. Number three is. This idea of the reset and the productive pause, right? We, we talk about the productive pause all the time.

[06:00] This is defined as a short period of focus, reflection around specific questions that leads to clarity of action and peace of mind. So this retreat wasn’t just a, a concept, it was a a, a real lived, productive pause, a full reset. These guys stop the noise of life, the chaos of life, and they finally. Could hear themselves speak and they could get true feedback and reflection.

[06:24] So how can you do that in your life, right? Whether it’s finding a coach, finding a retreat, whether it’s with us or anybody else. Listen, this is, this is critical that you do this, whether it’s with us or, or, or another coach, company, organization. One of the guys said this. He said, there’s nothing more powerful that I’ve done for myself than this weekend.

[06:43] This is a guy, he’s a president of a company, very successful. Great father, great husband, amazing in his business, and this is the most powerful thing he’s done for himself. There’s another guy, co-founder of a national firm. He said, this was the reset that I needed. So what about you? How can you reset?

[07:02] Matter of fact, I have a podcast episode about doing a hard reset that you can do on your own. Go back to episode two 20. Uh, this is a few years back, but we’re gonna put this link in the action plan for you as well. But if you go back to episode two 20, I talk about how to do a hard reset. And so this is something you can do on your own.

[07:19] You’re obviously, you’re not gonna get the full retreat experience by doing what I, I share in that episode, but to really powerful step-by-step way for you to do a full reset and show up. Energize ready to go tomorrow. Okay, so that’s number three of 13. Let’s get to number four. Mind body connection, the mind, body, spirit connection really.

[07:39] There was this idea of, of all of these being connected. So we did things like physical things, ice bath guys were playing music. Uh, one guy was playing guitar. We did meditation. We had a meditation instructor come in from California to spend both days with us. Uh, we did some exercise. And so there was this physical part of it.

[07:58] There was, uh, these activities that we did that were reflective and, and there was discussions and then there was just a lot of thinking discussion, right? So we did meditation, we did, uh, discussion. You know, one guy even brought, he was a, he’s a bourbon aficionado, and he’s like, has a certification in bourbon tasting, and we didn’t.

[08:20] Drink bourbon to, to get drunk. It was an actual experience, an experience where you’re tasting this and really tapping into the full human experience of, of life through the ice baths and the exercise and the discussions and the meditation and the bourbon and all that. And, and listen, a lot of guys didn’t drink any bourbon.

[08:37] That was awesome too. But there was, it was this full experience of really experiencing the fullness of life. Uh, one guy actually said, he was talking about physical pain. He is like, physical pain sharpens my thoughts. One guy said the mind, the meditation, the ice bath, the walks and the workouts that we did, he said it was a mind, body, spirit thing.

[08:56] And that was really what this was. And I encourage you to, to find ways to experience this yourself. Who can you get together? Who can you spend time with that is willing to do hard things, to do physical things, to do things that are, will just heighten your senses Because when you do it really, uh, helps you understand all the amazing things that are actually going on in your life right now instead of.

[09:17] Feeling all the, the failures and things you don’t have and that you wish you did have. All right, so that’s number four, the mind, body, spirit connection. Alright, number five. This was about really reflective moments and self-awareness. This retreat itself was just a, a big mirror for all of us. It revealed blind spots and false assumptions.

[09:38] It helps guys see themselves more clearly with more grace a lot of times, to be honest. And one guy said. Listen, we’re all just dudes, and the whole comment of we’re all just dudes was interesting because it stemmed from. Charlie, the Spaniard Brenneman former UFC fighter, author, speaker, good friend of mine who came to the retreat and spoke on the first night.
[10:00]

[10:00] And he was saying how these guys that he fought, I mean, he fought at the highest level, uh, in the UFC. He was ranked top seven in the world at 1.6 or seven in the world at one point. He’s like, they’re all just dudes. Uh, he said, if, if you were to meet your hero, whoever that athletic hero is, he said, if you, he used Tom Brady for an example.

[10:17] He said, if you were to meet Tom Brady, you would be disappointed. He’s just a dude. He’s just, he’s a dude who’s very disciplined and worked very hard and all that, but he actually is really just a dude. So you’d be, you’d be disappointed by that. And, and it was really helpful for us to, to really reflect on that and, and be self-aware that he’s just a dude.

[10:38] We’re just a dude and, and we have, uh, just as much potential. All right, so that was number five. Number six is the idea that relationships matter most. You know, a lot of guys show showed up at this retreat because of the professional development and they got that, but most left really talking about relationships and marriages and kids and friends and connection with others.

[11:01] And one guy, for example, said, I thought I came here to work on my business, but it’s my personal life that’s been changing the most from this. And I thought that was fascinating because he did work on his business and he did work on his career. But the ripple effects are carrying over. They’re, they’re much bigger.

[11:19] It’s almost just like a higher level when you hit the pause button and do this kind of work. So that’s number six, which was, you know about the relationships, the relationships in your life matter. Really tune into those. Really pay attention to the value of those, because I don’t care how much money you have, if your relationships are broken, you’re never going to be happy.

[11:42] Right? So that’s number six, focusing on relationships. I. Number seven. Uh, the brotherhood and community of this, it’s, it’s hard to really find good quality ma male relationships these days. A, you know, after high school, after college. But these guys found a brotherhood, like a shared mission, a, a real connection between each other.

[12:01] And one guy, he called it good dude, V and that’s where I referenced earlier, is this, this concept of good dude v that was Chris who shared this, and. This gets back to your environment of excellence. You’ve heard me talk about the environment of excellence and I talk in depth about the environment of excellence.

[12:17] Back in episode number 4 45, episode 4, 4, 5, if you wanna go back and listen to that one, but the people you surround yourself really define the actions that you’ll take and the standards that you set. And the guys that were there, I. The, the bar is high. The bar is high in terms of their businesses, in terms of their income, in terms of how they are as fathers, as husbands, as friends, as colleagues in their fitness, et cetera.

[12:41] Like the bar is just high, right? And not everybody was crushing it in all of those areas, but you’ll find guys who are crushing it in, in each of those, at least one or two, or three of those areas. And so this is, this is the environment of excellence. Like who are you surrounding yourself with? Can you find.

[12:56] New, different people who will raise the bar for you? Who will challenge you? Who will hold you accountable? Who to be honest, who are you gonna feel maybe a little insecure around because they ra, they’re raising the bar. Like when I train at the Olympic Training Center, I’ll be honest, I was, I was insecure.

[13:11] I was getting my ass kicked by these guys, and it was hard. Man, it raised the bar for what my expectations were and it made me a better person just by experiencing those, those training sessions out there. Okay, so that’s number seven about brotherhood community. Find that for yourself. Get around the right people.

[13:31] All right, let’s get to number eight of 13. And by the way, of course, all this is gonna be in the action plan. Just go to jimharshawjr.com/action, and you will get access to all we have, the bullet points, all the notes, everything right here. All right, so number eight is the concept of the Big Rocks versus the little rocks.

[13:49] And you know, you’ve probably heard this before, I think it was popularized by Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. But Mark, one of the guys at the the retreat brought this idea of certainly making time, you know, putting the big rocks in first. But he flipped it a little bit and he said, maybe there are some big rocks that we need to remove.

[14:09] Actually, he said, I gotta pull the big rocks out sometimes so I can get more of the right rocks into the jar. Do you have all the right rocks into the jar? The, in the, in the, in the analogy, if you haven’t heard it. Is basically you have a bucket and you have these, you know, large, medium, and small rocks.

[14:24] If you put the small ones in first, like all the minutia, it represents a minutia in your life. You know, the emails and the social media, and then you put the medium ones in. There’s no room for the big rocks. But if you put the big rocks in first, the most important stuff, family, relationships, things like that, then all the other stuff will filter in around it.

[14:41] But the question is really that Mark brought up was, do you have the right rocks in the jar? And I’ll be honest, you’re, you’re not gonna figure that out on your own. You need somebody who’s outside of you who can help you see the things that you can’t see, who can see your blind spots, that you just can’t see.

[14:56] Like I use the analogy, we’re on the inside of the jar trying to read the label. We need somebody who’s on the outside of the jar who can see our blind spots and the things that we can’t see. Alright, so that’s number eight. Do you have the right rocks in the jar? Number nine of 13. Iron sharpens iron.

[15:10] You’ve heard this before, but there was just this running theme of inspiration, guys being sharpened by others, their grit, and they’re hearing about their habits and then their own vulnerability and, and you know, the excellence of others. And one guy said, you know, just flat out you guys sharpened me. Uh, another guy Mike said.

[15:27] Being surrounded by you guys is like iron sharpening iron. And he did, he just used that analogy and, and everybody just raised the bar for each other. And so who do you have sharpening You, right? Who are you surrounding yourself by? It goes back to that environment of excellence. All right, that’s number nine.

[15:41] Number 10. The concept that we’re all just dudes. We talked about this earlier under the topic of reflection and self-awareness, but it was the same. This, this kind of topic, uh, came up, uh, here from me as well as sort of a separate topic is like, you know, strip away the titles, strip away the resumes, strip away the egos we’re all just trying to do our best.

[15:58] We’re all just dudes. And, uh, one of the guys kept saying, you know, the, the, the jerk quotient here is, is zero. And it was, it was pretty cool to hear that it, uh, you’re just surround a bunch of other guys. And when you have that, when you’re surrounded by people who are. High level, executing high level and, and really able to get intimate and, and vulnerable.

[16:16] You, you sort start to realize like they’re just dudes as well. All right, so that’s number 10. Number 11, execute and evaluate. Execute and evaluate. Rich, distill this down into this sort of single powerful mantra of take action and reflect, you know, execute and evaluate. And I think he got that from his coach Craig, and it, it’s as simple as that.

[16:36] Really, when you break it down, don’t over complicate things. Execute, evaluate, and then continue. It’s like the OODA loop, if you’ve ever heard of that. I think it’s, uh, I think it derived from maybe the military or elsewhere, but OODA loop, it’s OODA, so stands for observe. Orient, decide and act. So, observe, orient, decide, and act.

[16:57] And that’s what this really came down to for Rich, is this idea that you just execute and then you evaluate how did it go, what worked, what didn’t work? Let’s make a new plan, execute, evaluate, and continue. That’s number 11. Alright, number 12, low hanging fruit tastes just as good. I thought this was such a great takeaway.

[17:17] I think Peter shared this maybe. Uh, or maybe it was Craig, but don’t overcomplicate things, right? Not every solution has to be dramatic, you know, goes back to that execute and evaluate. Not every solution has to be complex. Things can be small. You know, small, simple wins can just be more effective ’cause they’re right in front of you.

[17:35] So the low frame, low hanging fruit tastes just as good. So make sure you’re taking advantage of the low hanging fruit. All right, let me give you the last one. Number 13. This is the letter to yourself. So here’s the deal. When I was in college after my sophomore year, uh, and I had really thought I was gonna be an All American that year, get onto the podium at the national championships, and I failed.

[17:56] And I remember sitting in the stands, just tears in my running down my eyes. This was at, uh, university of Northern Iowa. I. And watching the parade of all Americans where all the, all Americans are paraded out in front right before the NCAA championship finals, where there’s a single mat. All the, all Americans come out and, you know, they’re, they’re standing there in this big block of guys and, and the announcer says, all Americans.

[18:19] You know, turn one quarter, turn to your right and acknowledge your fans. And everybody gives a standing ovation. And then they say, okay, all Americans turn one quarter, turn to your right again and acknowledge your fans. And then they turn a quarter turn to the right and everybody gives ’em a standing ovation on that side.

[18:33] And they do this the whole way around. And I remember thinking, I, I wanna be out there so bad. And I went back to the hotel room that night and I wrote down all of the feelings that I had, all the pain, all the suffering, and I didn’t wanna lose those. I wanted to hold onto the feeling because that feeling I knew would go away.

[18:53] And whenever I wanted to go out and party or whatever, I wanted to skip a workout or sleep in or slack off, or not watch film or whatever it was, it was gonna take me off my path. I had that right there next to me telling me, Jim, don’t do it, man. Remember the pain. Remember, you’re not ever going to want to be sitting in the stands again like that.

[19:14] And by capturing how I felt, I was able to hold onto that feeling. And so what I did with all my clients was I. They were on this high. At the end of the retreat, I said, okay, you’re gonna write a letter to yourself. I’m gonna mail it to you in 30 days. No one’s gonna see it yet. I hit ’em, put it into an envelope, seal it, stamp it, write their address on it.

[19:31] I got them sitting, I’m looking at them right now, stack of them. I’m gonna drop ’em in the mail here shortly. And, and they’re gonna get those in the mail and it’s gonna bring ’em back to the, the high, the emotion, the remembering how they felt and you know, the fact that they wanted to execute at the highest level in their businesses and otherwise.

[19:48] Once they got back, well that wears off, right? When you show up Monday morning, you sit down at your desk and you email inbox is full and you know issues. You know the car’s in the shop and the
[20:00] kids are struggling with whatever, like life happens. You’ve gotta remember why you’re doing what you’re doing, so you can stay disciplined so you can execute and evaluate, right?

[20:10] So that’s number 13, the letter to yourself. All right, so I gave you 13 things. You can take action on all of these. Listen. You’re not going to though. Pick one, pick two. Keep it simple. Remember what I just said about the low hanging fruit tastes just as good? Take the low hanging fruit here. What is it for you?

[20:30] What is that one takeaway? I. That you can actually go and execute on and then evaluate. All right. Take action. Make sure you get the action plan. Go to jimharshawjr.com/action. Uh, make sure you get that in your inbox, and you’ll have it, you’ll get them actually every single week, every Monday, you’ll get the action plan from every episode, as well as the links to listen right there, dropped into your inbox with all the top quotes, top takeaways, action items, et cetera.

[20:54] Alright, here we go. You got a lot of great information here. Take action. Good luck.

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